McCain Apologizes to Navy Alcoholics Group By Scott Ott

02 Dec, 2003 by John Hawkins

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An embarrassed Senator John McCain, R-AZ, today apologized to members of the U.S. Navy’s version of Alcoholics Anonymous for comparing Congressional spending to that of “a drunken sailor.”

“It was a mean, insensitive remark,” said Mr. McCain. “A drunken sailor could never spend as much money as Congress has, with that kind of speed. My analogy was also wrong because a drunken sailor usually spends his own paycheck.”

In related news, Mr. McCain, who chairs the Senate Commerce Committee, said he hopes that Americans enjoy the pre-Christmas shopping season.

“Everyone should get out to the stores and malls and spend money like an incumbent legislator,” he said.

If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can see more of his work at Scrappleface.