Polls Show Bush Unpopular With Grandchildren of Nazis By William Grim

31 Mar, 2004 by John Hawkins

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The results of the most recent Roper/CNN poll show that President George W. Bush would overwhelmingly lose the election if voting was limited to the grandchildren of Nazi Party members, Frenchmen who bathe less than five times per decade, Spanish communists and unemployed British soccer hooligans.

“This is very bad news for Bush,” said Sidney R. Martin, chief strategist for the Democrat Party Central Committee. “It clearly shows that Bush is limited to his core constituency of registered American voters and is unable to reach out like Senator Kerry has to people who are ineligible to vote in American elections.”

Sources close to the Bush re-election campaign have told Broken Newz that the President has all but conceded the French and German vote to Kerry and will concentrate his resources on the 50 states that actually participate in the Electoral College.

Democrats, however, have pledged to contest the November election in court if President Bush’s victory is obtained merely on the strength of election results in the United States.

If you enjoyed this satire By William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz.