Rumsfeld Denies He Leaked That France Has Cooties

16 May, 2003 by John Hawkins

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Rumsfeld Denies He Leaked That France Has Cooties By Scott Ott: U.S. Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld today denied that there’s an organized effort in his department to leak allegations that France has cooties.

Mr. Rumsfeld, whose department and supporters are most often cited as a possible source of the anonymously sourced stories, said that “Certainly, there’s no such campaign out of this building. If we thought France had cooties, I would stand right here and tell you France has cooties. So shut up!”

An unnamed source close to Mr. Rumsfeld confirmed that the Secretary had publicly stated “France has cooties”.

If you liked this satire by Scott Ott, you can see more of his work at Scrappleface.