So, We’re All Staring At This Gorgeous Girl From Brazil…

06 Mar, 2008 by John Hawkins

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Via Rachel Lucas comes this story from Britain,

Britain’s first ‘Safe Text’ street has been created complete with padded lampposts to protect millions of mobile phone users from getting hurt in street accidents while walking and texting. Around one in ten careless Brits has suffered a “walk ‘n text” street injury in the past year through collisions with lampposts, bins and other pedestrians.

Given the apparent dangers of “unprotected text”, over a quarter of Brits – 27 per cent – are in favour of creating a ‘mobile motorway’ on Britain’s pavements. Texters could follow a brightly coloured line, which would act like a cycle lane, steering them away from obstacles. And 44 per cent of those surveyed wanted pads placed on lampposts to protect them while texting. The study found that busy city streets were the worst for “walk ‘n text” accidents.

The research showed that Brick Lane in East London was the top spot for texting injuries. Now Brick Lane has been made the country’s first “Safe Text” street, with brightly coloured padding, similar to that used on rugby posts, placed on lamp posts to test if it helps protect dozy mobile users. If the trial is successful, the idea could be rolled out to other London blackspots…

It goes without saying that this is an amazingly stupid idea that treats adults like small children who can’t even walk down the street without slamming into a lamppost. But, that’s not the point of this post.

The point is that this reminds me of a true story from college.

One day at college, my roommates and I had just finished dinner and were walking back into our dorm. As we were going through the lobby, we noticed this girl. The girl in question was a heartbreakingly beautiful student from Brazil. I mean perfect face, great body, great hair — I’m talking a 10 on a 10 scale.

All 3 of us were checking her out, but one of my roomies was just staring at her hard core as we walked. In fact, he was paying so much attention to her that he walked, face first, right into a pole in the middle of the lobby without slowing up one iota. He hit the pole so hard that he dropped like a sack of potatoes to the floor and, of course, we showed our support for our buddy by pointing and laughing uproariously at him while the whole lobby full of people stared at him.

To the best of my knowledge, there was no physical damage to my roommate from walking into the pole, but for all I know, he may be on a psychologist’s couch right now going, “And then they all laughed me! They all laughed! I see it every night when I dream! People laughing and staring!”

Reminding me of that story may be the one good thing that comes out of the Brits’ public Romper Room experiment.