Sweet Little Old Lady….Murderers

16 Jul, 2008 by Melissa Clouthier

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This story confirms my theory that people don’t get nicer as they age. They are who they are–they just usually get too tired too keep being as big a jerk. Beware the vital, healthy old people. They might look innocent:

Two elderly women were sentenced to life in prison without parole Tuesday for murdering two indigent men to collect insurance policies taken out on their lives.
Los Angeles Superior Court Judge David Wesley on Tuesday sentenced 77-year-old Helen Golay and 75-year-old Olga Rutterschmidt to two consecutive life terms each.

In April the women were convicted of a scheme in which they befriended homeless men, took out insurance policies on them and then killed them in murders staged to look like hit-and-run auto accidents. Prosecutors say the women collected $2.8 million before the scheme was uncovered.

I love this news story. It is awesomeness. First, old people are generally believed to be so sweet and innocent and benevolent and wise. I think that’s generally bull dookey. Sure, wisdom can come with age, but it certainly isn’t guaranteed. Sure, life experience can knock off the rough edges, but lots of people I know just never learn. Second, little old ladies can get away with murder. Well, not in this case. These conniving oldsters got caught and will spend the rest of their evil days rotting in prison. We all hear about “dirty old men”, but there is never any talk about “dirty old ladies”. Well, now, people hear about Cougars, but Cougars aren’t THAT old. Ladies pushing 80 killing innocent guys seems counter-intuitive.

I’ll bet there’s lots of little old ladies getting away with murder. If you ever read the comic strip Bloom County, there was a ax-murdering old lady who Steve Dallas was defending and so the judge made her live with him until the trial. He locked her in the basement, but she got out…by hacking through the basement door.