The Thinnest Premise For A News Story Ever (W/Pic)

26 Feb, 2008 by John Hawkins

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This story was so unintentionally funny that I just had to post it,

The figure in the bark appeared about four months ago.

Donna Pascariello poured coffee that October morning and looked through her back window, hoping to see a deer or a fox or maybe a squirrel through the fog. She saw the figure in the bark. Was it Jesus Christ?

…Ten, maybe 15, people have seen the light-colored outline at the bottom of the tree, Donna and Frank say. They ask each, What do you see?

“I don’t put it in their head, like, ‘Do you want to see something that looks like Christ?'” Donna says.

One person saw a saint. Others have split between Jesus and the Virgin Mary. The light makes a difference. Donna says it’s most obvious between noon and 2 p.m. when the sunlight hits the tree full on. Other times, the figure shifts a little, but it remains, Donna and Frank say.

They don’t know exactly what to make of it. Donna says she was raised Catholic but doesn’t make it to church that often. Still, a certain balance seems to have fallen on the family since the figure appeared, she says. Family illnesses, the trials of everyday life — dealing with everything seems a little more manageable.

Wait, it’s either Jesus, the Virgin Mary, OR a saint? Maybe it’s just me, but it looks like someone just tossed some chalky water on a tree and took a picture.

But wait, if I couldn’t just write it off to chalky water or weird tree rot, who would I say it was? Hmmmm….I’m going to go with Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas,

Granted, the Jack Skellington theory sort of ruins their whole “the magic tree person is making our lives more manageable” shtick, but that’s ga-ga anyway. So, here’s a suggestion for Donna: stop looking for Jesus in a tree and start going back to church. You can get that same feeling of balance without having to imagine that you see God in the bark of trees in your back yard.