Using Lawsuits to Redefine Monkeys as Humans

If this is a parody, I am going to feel mighty foolish about getting punked by a story so outrageously absurd — but it does appear in Science:

[Monday] morning, an animal rights group known as the Nonhuman Rights Project (NhRP) filed a lawsuit in a New York Supreme Court in an attempt to get a judge to declare that chimpanzees are legal persons and should be freed from captivity. The suit is the first of three to be filed in three New York counties this week. They target two research chimps at Stony Brook University and two chimps on private property, and are the opening salvo in a coordinated effort to grant “legal personhood” to a variety of animals across the United States.

The last time I read about fools pretending that chimpanzees are people, a woman had had her face ripped off. But it is certainly in keeping with the overall degeneration of the concept of civil rights into a depraved farce.

Other animals to be granted the legal status of humans in the near future if NhRP gets its way include gorillas, orangutans, elephants, whales, and dolphins.

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Chimpanzees play a major role in medical research. But this research primarily benefits humans, so it is of no interest to moonbats.

Progressive radicals don’t need to actually have animals legally proclaimed to be humans to wreak havoc on scientific research. All they need to do is control funding through the federal government — and inflict a little malicious regulation. Anatomist Susan Larson is “very shocked and upset” by the grotesque lawsuit. However…

The more immediate threat to Larson’s research isn’t NhRP, however–it is the National Institutes of Health (NIH). In June, NIH announced plans to retire all but 50 of its 360 research chimpanzees and phase out much of the chimp research it supports. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, meanwhile, has recommended that captive chimps be listed as endangered, which would limit any research that isn’t in their best interest. “Soon, the type of work I do will no longer be possible,” Larson says. “They have effectively ended my research program.”

Yet libs tell us that conservatives are the enemies of science because some can’t swallow the whole Darwinism package.

Once monkeys are officially human, it should be child’s play for liberals to get them on welfare and train them to vote for Democrats.

Time to review moonbat taxonomy. A person:


Not a person:


Make sense?

On a tip from Shawn R. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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