Super Deep Thinker Obama To Release Birth Certificate Today (Now Released)

27 Apr, 2011 by William Teach

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All the news outlets, TV and print, are reporting that pResident Obama will supposedly release his long form birth certificate this morning, making it available to the media while Obama speaks about it at 945am. I’ll update this after he yammers on and calls people mean and raaaaacist or something.

One thing I will be looking for in terms of authenticity will be his father’s race, which was listed as “African” on the COLB. In 1961, it would most likely be listed as “Black.”

Today’s drinking game (since it’s 5 o’clock somewhere) is to take a shot for every time he says “distraction.” Take a sip of beer for every time he says we have to “move on.” A toke for every time he says “jobs.” And 20 situps for every time he says “future.”

Meanwhile, Dana Milbank says Obama is lost in thought

When I covered George W. Bush’s White House, my job was made easier by the simplicity of the subject. The president had a few defining mantras – Cut taxes! Rally the base! Terrorists hate freedom! With us or against us! – and most of his decisions could be understood, even predicted, by applying one of the overarching philosophies.

With President Obama, there is no such luxury. The political right is befuddled as it tries to explain him: First, Obama was a tyrant and a socialist; now he’s a weakling who refuses to lead. The political left is almost as confused, demanding to know why Obama gave away so much on health care and in budget negotiations. Nearly everybody puzzles over Obama’s ad hoc responses to Egypt, Libya and now Syria, grasping for a still-elusive Obama Doctrine.

Seeking a template to understand the enigmatic president, I consulted three leading academics in the fields of psychology and behavior. With their help, I put Obama on the couch and came away with a reasonably coherent diagnosis: There’s too much going on in the poor guy’s head.

“What distinguishes Obama particularly is the depth and carefulness of his thinking, which renders him somewhat unfit for politics,” said Jonathan Haidt, a professor of social psychology at the University of Virginia. “He is a brilliant social and political analyst, which makes it harder for him to play hardball or to bluff.”

Got that? He’s just too damned smart for his own good, which is why he has had to vote “present” so many times, and led to this joke by Jay Leno

Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare.

George Bush once said “you may not always agree with where I stand, but, you always know where I stand.” With Obama, it’s something like whargarbl (4 or 5 works).

And, Bam!, just after I publish this post, the information is available at The Hill

In a post on the White House blog, the White House said Obama decided to distribute the birth certificate in the best interests of the country. (that link is to the long form BC)

“The President believed the distraction over his birth certificate wasn’t good for the country. It may have been good politics and good TV, but it was bad for the American people and distracting from the many challenges we face as a country,” said the post, written by White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer. (take two shots)

The blog post on the subject from the White House is here, and makes it seem like it was a serious hardship for the president.

Now let the discourse on the veracity of the document begin!

Seriously, time to move on from this, folks. Personally, I think it’s kinda strange that they would list his father’s race as “African” in 1961, but, I have always maintained that Obama is a US natural born citizen, but I was curious why he wouldn’t release the full BC. He’s done that. It contains very little extra information, but, there it is. Move on. All that other crap, yes, crap, about him having dual citizenship means nothing. There are no laws or constitutional provisions that would invalidate him over that. He was born on American soil to an American mother, his father was not diplomatic personnel, so, Obama is “natural born”, and was over 35 and had lived in the US for 14 years prior to his election, the only 3 requirements. Unfortunately, there is no requirement that someone be able to actually make a decision in a timely manner.

More: Well, well, well, someone was a bit snippy at his press conference.

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach.