Thank You, Mr. President

17 Apr, 2010 by Brian Garst

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President Obama is apparently feeling unappreciated.:  “You would think they’d be saying thank you,” he said about the Tea Party protests at a recent Democratic fundraiser. In his mind, he’s worked hard his first year adjusting taxes for our benefit. And for what? Nary a Tea Party thank you has been offered.:  Instead he’s faced protests, anger and mockery.:  No more, I say.:  It’s time we gave the President the thanks he knows he deserves, Tea Party style.

Thank you, Mr. President, for raising taxes on those dastardly smokers.:  Millions of Americans choose to use tobacco to relieve stress, most of them earning less than $250,000 a year.:  Yet you bravely broke your pledge not to raise their taxes in order to punish them for exercising their freedom to use a product despised by your liberal base.

Thank you, Mr. President, for forcing Americans to get more sunlight.:  Too many forgo the cancer causing sun for indoor tanning salons in order to meet their skin perfecting needs.:  Like children who spend too much time in their rooms on the computer or watching TV, a good President knows when it’s time to be daddy and tell them to get outside and play.:  Thank you for doing so by hitting us in the wallet, where it counts.

Thank you, Mr. President, for taxing Americans who choose not to buy health insurance.:  The decision to protect against catastrophic financial risk due to injury or illness is a personal decision. As with all personal decisions, we little people are prone to making the wrong choice.:  Thank you for being there to make sure we choose correctly.

Thank you, Mr. President, for supporting a tax on energy, the lifeblood of the economy.:  As Americans struggle to get the economy moving again, we must be careful not put our personal welfare above those of climate scientists, who desperately need people to believe their dire warnings in order to get more government funding.:  Thank you for reminding us that ending the recession cannot come before these and other special interests.

Thank you, Mr. President, for proposing a budget that includes $2 trillion in new taxes over 10 years.:  Moreover, we realize that no President can go it alone and so want to also extend our thanks to your Congressional allies.:  Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and the Democrats in Congress have helped you accomplish all this.:  Not only do we offer them our gratitude now, but in November we also promise many of them some hard earned vacation time to spend with their families, or filling out tax returns.

Brian blogs at Conservative Compendium.