The Life Of Peter, Julia’s Sperm Donor

We already know what happens to Julia, but, what of the guy who provided the sperm to conceive Zachary? Let’s see how Peter’s life goes

Age 22: Peter’s in his senior year, working towards his Sociology degree. He supplements his meager income from student loans and a part time job down at the local Subway by selling his sperm to a local sperm bank, and signs documents which state that all “donations” will be kept completely anonymous.

Age 23: having successfully graduated from college with a mountain of debt, Peter realizes that there are no jobs out there other than minimum wage, and even those are hard to come by. Graduate school is expensive, he feels that the military is simply a bunch of warmongers, so he decides to join Obama’s Americorps. He thought about joining the Peace Corps, but, doesn’t want to get sent to some 3rd world shithole, er, developing nation.

Age 24: Peter is sent by Americorps to a 3rd world shithole, er, the back streets of a major northern US city. He lives in a meager rat infested apartment with 4 others. While working to teach “organizational skills“, Peter is mugged, beaten, and even stabbed in the leg. Thanks to lax liberal law law enforcement policies, no ambulance company will respond in that neighborhood. Because Stimulus money went to Obama’s political donors, the roads are a mess, so it takes a while to get to the ER. Peter finally gets to an open ER at the 3rd hospital his friends take him to as the first two were shut down due to being overburdened by illegal aliens, but has to wait 4 hours to see a doctor and is left with a slight permanent limp. Several of his attackers are arrested and given counseling by a judge appointed in 2009.

Age 26: After years of working for Americorps while looking for a job, Peter finally gets a position with a small non-profit funded by the UN via the US government. He’s sent to a 3rd world shithole. The money’s not great, but, he’s Making A Difference. He’s kidnapped by Islamic extremists linked to al Qaeda, which he was told had been defeated, but, fortunately, those evil warmongering military folks rescue him.

Age 27: Peter moves up the ladder, and is finally able to make money by skimming money from government grants. He receives a letter in the mail from Julia’s lawyer slapping him with a paternity suit.

Age 28: Peter attempts to fight the suit, but, a liberal judge throws out the legal non-disclosure forms, saying Peter has to Do His Part. Peter’s still in debt from college, and also has some sort of strange disease from his time in the 3rd world shithole. Very few doctors accept his insurance and government centers have months long waits. He starts filing phony reports to the government in order to get more money.

Age 30: Peter still hasn’t even seen Zachary yet, but, Julia has sued for even more child support. Peter gets a job working for a bigger non-profit. He’s able to skim even more money from the government grants.

Age 33: Peter is going to get married to a lady he met at an Occupy encampment while providing comfort in a “rape free” zone. He’s visited by the FBI for falsifying government forms and embezzling from his company. He wonders why there’s a problem with redistributing money to himself. The FBI arrests him for fraud and embezzlement, and the IRS charges him with tax evasion on the money he stole.

Age 35: after sitting in jail for 2 years, Peter is finally sentenced to 25 years in jail. Peter’s boss is a major donor to the Democrat Party with a lot of sway.

Age 36: Peter is raped repeatedly in jail. When he complains, he is counseled to not be so bigoted and intolerant of illegal aliens.

Age 50: Peter is up for parole. He meets his “son” Zachary for the first time, as Zach testifies as his hearing. Zach says Peter ruined his life.

Age 60: After being paroled, Peter lives in flophouse. Medicare long ago degenerated into insolvency. Cats are afraid to come anywhere near his neighborhood. Food stores won’t take food stamps as they are never reimbursed.

Age 65: The Chinese government owned company that owns most of the US decides that Peter has outlived his usefulness and, following the dictates of the Independent Payment Advisory Board set up by Obamacare, denies Peter the heart surgery he needs for the issues caused by age and the disease he acquired in the 3rd world shithole. Peter can’t even afford to pay for medicine, as he is still providing child support to Zachary. Social Security wouldn’t be available till age 72, if it even existed anymore.

Age 66: RIP. Zachary is provided with a bill from the US government for burial services for Peter. Zachary wonders just what in the hell his 75% tax rate is paying for.

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach.

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