Petition Unleashed To Replace Confederate Monument With “Louisiana’s Hero” Britney Spears

Petition Unleashed To Replace Confederate Monument With “Louisiana’s Hero” Britney Spears

I just… y’all, I wish this were satire. I wish I could be like “APRIL FOOLS” at the end of this article, but I can’t.

These ridiculous people are going to put The Onion out of business, because who can top this insanity? I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried and I’ve kicked around the idea of a satire blog for a while. Clearly I would not make it in that industry if these are the headlines that are coming out of actual news outlets.

Famed U.S. singer Britney Spears sings during her concert in Taipei, Taiwan, Tuesday, June 13, 2017. (AP Photo/Chiang Ying-ying)

With all of the talk of bringing down Confederate statues, one has to wonder what may take their place. If a statue of a soldier doesn’t represent you and what you believe in, what does?

Oh, I know, how about a statue of Britney Spears! That’s right, fans of the “Oops, I Did It Again” singer have started a petition to replace the statues of Confederate soldiers with those of a pop star. A freaking pop star.

2017 America has officially reached peak stupidity levels.

So why should we put up statues of Spears? Well, according to the woman who started the petition, which is addressed to Louisiana Gov. John Bel Edwards, she is an “inspiration to millions.”

“Before becoming one of the world’s most important and influential pop legends, Britney Spears was living life in a small southern town by the name of Kentwood, Louisiana. Not only has Britney proven her talent, but she’s proven her strength of character by not only overcoming highly publicized mental breakdown, but by continuously working towards improving herself.”

I like Spears, don’t get me wrong. I like her music because it’s fun to dance to and it’s catchy. That being said, she’s done nothing worth memorializing in a statue. If we give statues to everyone, then they become meaningless devotions.

She’s a singer. She’s got a star on the Walk of Fame. She’s made it.

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