Bummer: 8 Ways “Climate Change” Is Ruining Christmas

There is a 9th: having to listen to Warmists whine about Hotcoldwetdry ruining Christmas as they drive around in fossil fueled vehicles. Continuing the 25 Days Of Climate Christmas

8 Ways Climate Change Is Wrecking Christmas

Santa and his polar bear neighbors in the North Pole aren’t the only ones dealing with the consequences of climate change. At first glance, the climate change in the United States might seem less dramatic than melting icebergs in the Arctic. But scientists are starting to figure out how greenhouse-gas emissions are beginning to threaten some of the things Americans love the most–including holiday traditions like ham, trees and wine. “Global warming has certainly been observed very robustly, and we understand the processes by which humans are causing it quite well,” explains Noah Diffenbaugh, a Woods Institute for the Environment fellow and assistant professor of earth science at Stanford University. “But there’s also a lot of uncertainty in what will happen in future…what will people do in response to climate change?”

Strange. No statistically significant warming in 17 years. No warming during the 21st Century. 4 out of the past 5 winters, particularly in Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and parts of the Southern Hemisphere being harsh, with a potential harsh 2013-2014 winter being brutal. Most of the Antarctic getting colder. Global temperatures refusing to cooperate with Warmist models. Calls for an ice free Arctic in 2013 failing. In fact, there was a massive rebound in the Arctic this year. Hurricane activity down. Wildfires down. Etc. So on.

Anyhow, here’s what your use of a fossil fueled vehicles (yes, you, I blame you, not me, using Warmist doctrine of it always being the fault of Someone Else) is threatening when it comes to Christmas

  1. Your Holiday Ham – cause corn fields are threatened by drought and flood that never happened before 1980. Except for the massive corn harvests in 2013.
  2. Christmas Trees – because soil composition was always the same before 1980, and there were no pests
  3. Your Favorite Gift – which is supposedly blue jeans, but drought is affecting cotton, and “water shortages could threaten the very existence of the jeans industry” – not too alarmist, eh?
  4. Holiday Cookies – supposedly cookies with peanut butter will suffer, because it was never hot before 1980. This one is really a load of mule fritters, claiming that the harvest was down due to a few degrees of warm weather, when in fact there were record US harvests. And any negative effects were based on cool weather.
  5. California Wine – this might possibly maybe “could” be affected due to warming “projections”. Because, obviously, if the temperature decides it wants to start increasing again, it is against the Laws Of Reality to move production northwards.
  6. Oysters – here’s the ocean acidification argument, all based on “models”
  7. Your Holiday Candy – coco production could be harmed by a simple 1C increase or something in 2050, so “If there’s ever a reason to switch to energy-efficient lightbulbs and drive less, this is it!”
  8. Your Morning Cup o’ Joe – another one of those “this might happen” 20-100 years down the road. Except, there were massive harvests in 2013 and 2012, among others.

So, there you go, Christmas will be ruined sometime in the far flung future.

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach.

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