Finally — an Amazon product that has something for everyone

Obscenely overpriced product? Check.

Ridiculous discount?:  Check.

Product description riddled with grammatical errors and pretentious, unintelligible language? Check.

Customer “reviews” that are worth their weight in gold? You betcha.

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I hereby present the Plodes RECH reDO Lawn Chair – Black Leather with White Stitching and Cherry Arms. This isn’t just any old lawn chair. This is a special lawn chair:

Restored tube/lawn chair, stitched leather, hardwood. reDO is a limited edition redefinition of a soon to be extinct icon [sic]. The infamous aluminum tube web chair that society has taken for granted for so long are [sic] restored to accentuate their covertly true modern form.A stitched leather silhouette of the once web [sic], new hardwood armrests, and mirror polished frame not only redefines the chairs physical presence, but also its identity [sic]. No longer bound by the outdoors and stereotypes [sic], reDO is elevated to kin chairs with roots in Bauhaus modernism [sick].

With that kind of pedigree, it’s no surprise that Plodes offers the chair at a reasonable $3,640.00. Showing remarkable forward thinking, though, not to mention that common touch that denotes true greatness, Plodes is currently offering a substantial discount. If you order now, you can save $840 dollars. Imagine! This chair can be yours for a mere $2,800.

Customers are raving. The following is a good example of the many thoughtful, detailed reviews from satisfied customers:

The title of this listing, although boasting an impressive mix of capital and lowercase letters, really does not do the chair justice. Plodes is known for making top quality lawn furnishings, but they really went over the top with their new RECH reDO line. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this chair does not arrive in the standard cardboard amazon box, but was personally delivered to my house by Selma Hayek, who carried the chair on 7 white tigers.

This chair has many unique features. Hidden within the cherry arms is a control panel for the Magneto-Levitation thrusters that allow the occupant of the chair to fly about at up to 300 mi/hr. This chair is extremely ergonomic, after sitting in it for only 5 minutes, I noticed that the occasional pains in my lower back were gone, my beer belly had turned into a 6-pack, and I had 20/20 vision without my glasses.

When I saw that the price of this chair had fallen below $3,000 I sold my solid gold can opener to buy two of them. My wife and I now enjoy sitting in these chairs admiring our collection of Plodes SESH reNEW bowling pins.

Lest you think that review is an anomaly — for how could one customer be so satisfied? — others offer similar reviews:

The other reviewers think this is some kind of joke.

I have allergies to essentially every kind of synthetic fabric known to man. Vinyl, nylon, everything. Even rubbers like neoprene.

That is the physical. I also have specific textophobia and xylophobia, which rules out a lot of natural fabrics and woods.

All furniture in my home is made of either leather, cherry, or aluminum tubing.

Usually put together by contractors using “shoe goo”. I don’t like nails, screws, or other tawdry fasteners simply on an aesthetic basis. Not my taste.

My bed cost me almost $40,000 in materials and labor. 4 years of savings. I can’t really support this kind of thing on my salary (priest, wiccan/mormon reform).

Imagine how I felt when I saw this – ready made chairs replacing my living hell of continual custom build, paying contractors my life savings. These chairs saved me a boatload. I can pay for them in nearly a year each.

This is truly a product worth having. Go on! Check it out and, if you feel like it, you too can write a review.

Cross-posted at Bookworm Room

The Bookworm Turns : A Secret Conservative in Liberal Land, available in e-format for $4.99 at Amazon, Smashwords or through your iBook app.

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