The Somali Pirates And The Bizarro-World Ethics Of Modern Warfare

Guess who’s back? It’s not Slim Shady, it’s the Somali Pirates and they’re new and improved! Now, their piracy comes complete with torture:

Pirates operating off the coast of Somalia have begun to use aggressive new tactics including torture against captives, according to the commander of the European Union naval force.

Captured sailors now face being thrown overboard or used as human shields, locked in freezers or having plastic ties put on their genitals in the mounting battle between international forces and Somali pirates.

“There have been regular manifestations of systematic torture,” Royal Marines Commandant General Buster Howes told a press agency.

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“If warships approached a pirated ship too closely, the pirates would drag hostages on deck and beat them until the warship went away.”

The restraint of earlier years has been replaced lately with “a willingness to use violence much more quickly and much more violence.”

You know what kind of pirates don’t ever torture people?

DEAD pirates.

But, that’s the problem, isn’t it?

We have modern warships that could turn the pirates, the villages they came from, and anybody else in a 100 mile radius who wants to get froggy into a giant pile of mush. In other words, this problem could be easily taken care of at any time. We simply choose not to do it and then congratulate ourselves for being so civilized, not like our barbaric ancestors.

Of course, our ancestors, in a similar situation, would solve this issue in about five minutes. If they had the means to wipe out pirates, they just did it — and they didn’t feel bad about it.

Want to know a little secret? For all of our hubris and self-congratulatory rhetoric, past generations handled situations like this a lot better than we do.

We should take a lesson from them.

Paying these pirates off isn’t civilized; it’s stupid. Instead of paying ransom, we should kill these pirates on sight and shoot any of them that are captured after giving them a brief, perfunctory trial. If that doesn’t dissuade them quickly enough, then we should bomb their villages. “Oh, that sounds cruel!” And having plastic ties wrapped around the genitals of captives isn’t?

It’s terrible for the people of Somalia that their nation is such a lawless dungheap, but we shouldn’t let the chaos in that country put other people at risk indefinitely. Seriously, do you really want to see this going on a decade from now not because we couldn’t stop it, but because we simply chose not to do it? I don’t. Kill enough pirates and enough of the people supporting and profiting off of what they’re doing and the problem will go away. That’s what should be done.

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