A Christmas Tree Moonbats Can Wipe Their Feet On

02 Dec, 2009 by Dave Blount

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What would happen if moonbats designed a Christmas tree? This:

When is a Christmas tree not a Christmas tree? When it is a giant cone covered in what appears to be green doormats.

Shoppers stared in bemusement at the mysterious object that landed in a shopping precinct in Poole, Dorset, this week. Some compared it to a giant traffic cone, a witch’s hat or a cheap special effect from an early episode of Doctor Who.

The 33ft structure turned out to be their Christmas tree, designed according to the principles of health and safety, circa 2009.

Thus it has no trunk so it won’t blow over, no branches to break off and land on someone’s head, no pine needles to poke a passer-by in the eye, no decorations for drunken teenagers to steal and no angel, presumably because it would need a dangerously long ladder to place it at the top.

Unless of course the angel was forbidden because the last thing our politically correct rulers would want is for Christmas to remind anyone of Christianity. But the emphasis here is on safety, the lawyer-inflicted obsession with which is infantilizing society. Yelps the “town centre manager” Richard Randall-Jones:

People think you can just go into the woods, chop down a tree and put it up in the high street but if it blows over and kills someone then somebody is liable.

According to the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, Christmas trees are one of the most hazardous objects in the home. They can poke you in the eye with their branches or strain your back when you carry them in and out. It’s surprising the Nanny State hasn’t gotten around to banning them yet.

On a tip from Rob Banks. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.