So That’s Why They Call It Brown

Brown is an Ivy League university. The status entailed in attending it doesn’t come cheap. Undergraduate tuition plus room, board, and fees for 2012–2013 will set you back $55,016. Fortunately taxpayer-backed student loans and scholarships are available. Here is what Brown students have been learning during Sex Week 2013:

Following an introductory seminar on “Fornication 101,” which covered basic topics such as putting condoms on with your mouth and G-spot stimulation, and [Wednesday’s] presentation on “Queering the Toybox,” featuring eco-friendly gay sex toys and products that remember user preferences through integrated microchips, there’s really nowhere left to go, right?


Last night’s workshop was scheduled to

address “The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure,” where men will explore “how much fun prostate stimulation can be,” according to the official event schedule.

On the syllabus: “prostate massage, toys for prostate stimulation and more.”

Enterprising students ought to film final exam week at Brown; the footage could be used for lucrative homosexual pornography, to run on weekdays after school on the Disney Channel if current cultural trends continue.

In an egalitarian society, degeneracy isn’t only for those who can scrape up the mountains of money required for prestigious Brown. At the more modest University of Tennessee,

Sex Week is sponsored by the university’s Sexual Empowerment and Awareness at Tennessee club. The six-day event is expected to cost nearly $20,000 — covered in part by university grants, student fees and contributions from academic departments. …

There are 30 events planned including “Getting Laid,” “Sex Positivity; Queer as a Verb,” “Bow Chicka Bow Woah,” “How to Talk to Your Parents About Sex,” “Loud and Queer,” and “How Many Licks Does It Take…” — a workshop about oral sex. …

In addition to a campus-wide scavenger hunt for a golden condom, the university is hosting noted lesbian bondage expert and erotica author Sinclair Sexsmith.

Miss Sexsmith’s academic qualifications include serving on the board of the New York Lesbian Sex Mafia and running an obscene website entitled, “Sugarbutch Chronicles: The Sex, Gender and Relationship Adventures of a Kinky Queer Butch Top.” Also, “she is an expert in sexuality and leather.”

Scholarly pursuits during Sex Week will include a sex talent show and drag show.

Our culture is flinging itself into the abyss.

Sinclair Sexsmith, another lovely lesbian.

On tips from BoJangles, whotothewhat, Artfldgr, and Dr. 9. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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