The Black Eyed Peas Halftime Ear Violation

It was funny to me how many people HATED the Black Eyed Peas halftime show. Funny because they’ve ALWAYS sucked. You people are just figuring this out now?

These guys have the worst lyrics of any band in the last 50 years. In fact, I imagine that the legions of talented unsigned bands that are out there must have watched that abomination and hoped that there were no sleeping pills in their house.

The reviews of the halftime show were immediately and deservedly harsh. For example, here’s the original post on Wikipedia,

The Black Eyed Peas are currently playing at Super Bowl XLV.

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This then transformed to The group performed at the Super Bowl XLV Halftime Show where a lack of post-production effects has revealed their stage show to be of inferior quality to a high school talent show.

Come on, that’s unfair! High school talent shows don’t have a band that looks like they were dressed by Michelle Obama and legions of dancing condoms covered with Christmas lights to compliment their performance.

Predictably, the comments on Twitter were SCATHING,

Why won’t the Black Eyed Peas just tell us what their demands are so we can end the torture??!?! — rumpfshaker

Black Eyed Peas are now #2 on iTunes. Who saw that performance and said, “Wow, I’d like to hear that multiple times.”? — deppisch

I’m afraid if the Superbowl is being broadcast into space, aliens will interpret this Black Eyed Peas performance as an act of war. — Eugene Mirman

Granted, everything about the show wasn’t terrible. Fergie was wearing a hot outfit and Slash from Guns’N’Roses made a brief appearance to play a little Sweet Child O’ Mine, which was at least a reminder of what a more talented band sounds like.

Look, I don’t want to call the Black Eyed Peas performance a war crime against humanity that should lead to a trial at the Hague — but, that’s mainly because I don’t believe in sending Americans to the Hague. Besides, Will.I.Am’s manager punched out Perez Hilton once, which is such a service to humanity that they deserve a little leniency.

Last but not least, let’s face it. The world’s not a fair place. Someone as incompetent as Barack Obama is President, The Black Eyed Peas got to play the Super Bowl, and Arianna Huffington is now worth $300 million dollars. That’s the breaks, brother, and we just have to roll with it…and buy earplugs to keep the repetitive lyrics of the Black Eyed Peas from giving us brain damage.

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