This mom sleeps with her sons aged NINE and TEN, while Dad sleeps in the boys’ room

This strikes me as very unhealthy for both the boys and the parents. Parents have their children sleep in their own beds to foster independence and a healthy individuality. This produces ‘mama’s boys’ and Freud would have had a field day with the ‘mommy’ implications. I don’t care if the child cries or if they have trouble sleeping – if you keep them in their own bed long enough they will acclimate as they should. I really don’t give a crap about their sex life – it is what it is… but to allow nine and ten year-old boys to sleep in a double bed with their mother every night is simply twisted and wrong.

Julie Darby, 41, and (left to right) sons Kai, nine, and Braydon, 10, share a bed
together every night at the family home in Chesterfield, Derbyshire.

From the Daily Mail:

Plenty a wife has thrown a loving husband out of the marital bed for a night or two if they’ve had a falling out.

But very few have done so every night for five years while their nine and 10-year-old sons take daddy’s spot.

Julie Darby, 41, shares a bed with her boys Kai and Brayden while husband Gary, 43, has to be content with a single bunk bed in his sons’ room.

Julie and Gary insist they still have an active sex life – but must schedule intimacy for when the boys are at school, staying with family or out with friends.

They have faced harsh criticism from relatives and friends who have accused them of spoiling their sons and putting their own marriage at risk.

But the Darbys are unapologetic for ‘putting their sons’ needs first’.

Julie said: ‘If people think we’re spoiling our sons so be it. We know we’ve made the right choice.

‘Kai and Brayden’s needs come first. We want to hold on to their childhood for as long as possible so this system is good for everyone.

‘We’ve heard it all. We’re spoiling them, we’ll make them too attached, we’ve made a rod for our own backs. Right from day one people were telling me I was doing everything wrong.

‘But our happy, healthy sons are proof we’ve done what is right for our family.’

Julie and her husband Gary have practiced ‘co-sleeping’ or ‘bed-sharing’ since their sons were born.

Derived from the attachment parenting school of thought, supporters of co-sleeping believe it encourages bonding and emotional development, enables children to sleep better and makes breastfeeding easier in the early stages.

As with other attachment parenting techniques, some parents believe it is up to the child to decide when they’re ready to sleep alone.

However, even devout bed sharers often stop when their children are much younger than Brayden and Kai.

Either Brayden or Kai – or often both – will tuck in with Julie while train driver Gary sleeps on the bottom bunk in the boys’ room.

Julie explained: ‘People don’t believe us but Gary really doesn’t mind. He never has.

‘His stance is that the father’s job is to keep the wife and kids happy.

‘We have flexible schedules and make time for sex when the boys are at school, staying over at my mum’s or out with friends.

‘But we’ve been together for more than 20 years so we’ve had plenty of time for romance. In a couple of years we’ll be back to sleeping in the same bed for a long time to come.

‘I have problems with my back so it’s not like I’m as active as I once was. We’re both in our 40s now.

‘When people find out about our set-up they often ask if Gary minds or if it has damaged our relationship.

‘If anything it has made us stronger. I admire how he puts his sons’ needs first.’

Some experts believe bed sharing during infancy in particular is dangerous with the possibility of parents suffocating tots.

Some studies show there is an increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – but others suggest the practice reduces SIDS if done safely.

The mother, who had trouble getting pregnant, seems to be the one with the overwhelming attachment to the boys. She’s not doing them any favors. To survive in this world, boys need to learn to be fiercely independent and think for themselves. Parents are meant to teach them to stay on the right path and do the right thing. You shouldn’t treat children like security blankets or stuffed animals to be cuddled with at night. These boys will be clingy and dependent on their mom, expecting their parents to solve everything for them. That’s not a survival trait. God forbid something happens to the mom, they would be lost. They don’t plan on making the boys get into their own beds till the age of 12 or 13. That’s far too long. Not to mention, these boys will be mercilessly ridiculed for this. Let the boys be boys and give them a chance to grow into young men without their mother’s apron strings strangling them. Shame on the father for not stepping in and doing what father’s should do for their sons – instruct them on how to act like men – not momma’s boys.

Terresa Monroe-Hamilton

Terresa Monroe-Hamilton is an editor and writer for Right Wing News. She owns and blogs at She is a Constitutional Conservative and NoisyRoom focuses on political and national issues of interest to the American public. Terresa is the editor at Trevor Loudon's site, New Zeal - She also does research at You can email Terresa here. NoisyRoom can be found on Facebook and on Twitter.

Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!