Child Obesity “Crisis” Tightens the Noose

Sometimes liberals are bold, ham-fistedly commandeering whole sectors of the economy, like healthcare and the auto industry. But they may do the most damage to liberty when they attack it more insidiously, in ways too absurd to arouse our ire until we wake up to find that every conceivable aspect of our lives is dictated by bureaucratic decrees.

When conditioning the public to accept total domination by Big Government, it’s best to start young:

Ten-year-old Leighann Adair came home in tears, terrified to tell her parents she’d been slapped with a week’s worth of detention for possessing a contraband substance:

The forbidden fruit: a piece of Jolly Rancher candy.

A teacher at Brazos Elementary School in Wallis, Texas, took the unopened piece of candy away from the third-grader two weeks ago after a friend handed it to her.

Both Leighann and her friend were ordered to serve detention during lunch and recess, and they had to write an essay about what they did and why it was wrong.

Draconian measures are required, because according to our rulers, child obesity is a crisis, just like global warming.

That was Texas; California is infinitely worse:

California teenagers may be in for some big changes in the way they live their lives, with a slew of restrictive bills pending.

St. Sen. Leland Yee, D-San Francisco, who is also a child psychologist, says they need help to make the right decisions.

“What we’re trying to do is just empower our parents to help them help their kids,” Yee said.

Yee and other petty tyrants plan to “empower our parents” by banning, among many other things, Gatorade — “to help fight obesity.”

Meanwhile, the Bitter Half is taking this preposterous yet alarming crusade against gastronomic liberty national:

A White House report warns, “The childhood obesity epidemic in America is a national health crisis.” … The task force is a key part of First Lady Michelle Obama’s campaign to solve the problem of obesity within a generation. President Obama ordered the comprehensive review of the issue.

The report … calls for some new and dramatic controls on the marketing of unhealthy foods. …

It says media characters that are often popular with kids should only be used to promote healthy products. If voluntary efforts fail to limit marketing of less healthy products to young viewers, the task force suggests the FCC should consider new rules on commercials in children’s programming. It also challenges food retailers to stop using in-store displays to sell unhealthy food items to children.

The Founding Fathers never would have left us with the First Amendment if they had known it could lead to a crisis like childhood obesity.

The study also suggests that restaurants should re-evaluate portion sizes [i.e., be coerced to give us less food for our money], improve kids’ menus and list more healthy food choices.

No doubt the appropriate political donations will help food manufacturers to have their products deemed as “healthy.”

But don’t worry, Big Government is here to make our lives better. It will even save us money:

The task force also sees a potential pocketbook approach to keep people from buying unhealthy foods. It calls for analyzing the effect of imposing state and local sales taxes on less healthy products.

When our nanny state rulers tax and regulate the foods we like beyond our reach, we’ll save money by not buying them. Then they can save us even more money by doing the same to firearms, then automobiles, then whatever else they decide to take away. If Jolly Ranchers are a menace, they’re not likely to leave us with much. Think of the savings!

The task force concludes that strategies listed in the report “should” achieve the goal of solving the childhood obesity problem within a generation. It concedes it won’t be easy.

Take heart, bureaucrats. Success can be attained. In communist North Korea, where government slaves are reduced to attempting to eat grass, childhood obesity is officially under control.

On tips from TrickleUpPolitics, Son of Taz, Wiggins, Muddypaw, and Jenn. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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