The No Exit Primary

Sorry I didn’t get this in sooner, but Jean-Paul Sartre was calling me from beyond the grave. He dialed me up to say that he’s rewriting No Exit so that Hell is actually this primary season. It features a “front runner” who’s the least conservative candidate since Nixon, the least electable since Goldwater, and the least qualified since, well, Obama. He competes with two other underfunded conservative candidates who split the vote and make it impossible for the grassroots to consolidate around someone who doesn’t remind them of Charlie Crist. There’s also a weird little fellow in the back with a wacky laugh who goes on and on about the gold standard, non-interventionism, and fighting the system while he does everything he can to help the establishment candidate win. It’s a little more warped than the original, but it does have the advantage of being realistic, even if no one would have believed it before this year. It’s also running way, way too long and unless there are some plot rewrites to get rid of one of the characters, the audience may be too bored and discouraged to make it to the end of the showing.

This originally appeared in the The PJ Tattler.

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