“114-Year-Old Attributes Longevity to Sheer Random Chance”

One of the (many) common questions reporters ask that I’ve never understood is one addressed to people who’ve lived a very long time: “What’s the secret to living a long life?” Even as a semi-serious, kinda fun question, it makes absolutely no sense. How is a person supposed to know? Even if a better form of the question were asked–“What have you done in your life–career-wise, family-wise, diet, exercise, hobbies–that you think most people don’t do?” it would still be pretty silly.

So this piece is: great. Unfortunately, it’s not from a real newspaper, it’s from: The Onion.

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