A Year Of Coulter: Ann Coulter Quotes From Oct 2003 – 2004

“How about that for the next Kerry-Edwards bumper sticker? “Three-quarters of us don’t trust him on terror, but only 60 percent of us think he’d be incompetent in any international crisis.”

“Interestingly, the elite (and increasingly unwatched) media always make “mistakes” in the same direction. They never move too quickly to report a story unfavorable to liberals.”

“The New York Times review blamed (Kitty) Kelley’s gossip mongering on “a cultural climate in which gossip and innuendo thrive on the Internet.” Kelley has been writing these books for decades, so apparently, like the Texas Air National Guard, Kelley was on the Internet ‘ and being influenced by it ‘ back in the ’70s. As I remember it, for the past few years it has been the Internet that keeps dissecting and discrediting the gossip and innuendo that the major media put out.”

“Of course, it gets complicated trying to do a side-by-side comparison of the candidates’ positions on terrorism since we don’t know which John Kerry is running for president. The one who opposes war with Iraq or the one who supports it? The one who opposes the Patriot Act or the one who voted for it? The one who wants to work with the allies, or the one who ridicules them when they support America.”

“The problem with a suck-up press for Democrats is that with no adversary press to call them on it, Democrats develop wilder and wilder Walter Mitty fantasy lives until finally one day, when they are at the zenith of their political careers, someone notices that they’re not Irish, they didn’t deserve their war medals, 254 swiftboat veterans hate them, and they didn’t spend Christmas Eve, 1968, in Cambodia.”

“The media will spend weeks going through pay stubs for Bush’s National Guard service in Alabama in the waning days of war, but if Kerry tells them exotic tales of covert missions into Cambodia directed by Richard Nixon, they don’t even bother to fact-check who was president in December 1968.”

“The Swift Boat Veterans provide detailed accounts from dozens and dozens of eyewitnesses to Kerry’s Uriah Heep-like behavior ‘ which “Unfit for Command” contrasts with Kerry’s boastful descriptions of the exact same incidents. By contrast, Kerry’s supporters have their usual off-the-rack denunciations of any witness against a Democrat. The veterans are: liars, bigots, idiots, politically motivated, and I was never alone in a hotel with Paula Jones.”

“I was under the naive impression that Clinton administration scandals would end once the Clinton administration ended. Even I, someone who has not exactly had her eyes closed to Clinton-era buffoonery, did not imagine that the most corrupt administration in the history of the country would find a way to keep having scandals while out of office. But poor old Sandy Berger ends up in hot water long after everyone’s gone home. Someday we’ll be reading about Clinton officials causing incidents in nursing homes. (Which Clinton administration official do you imagine that might involve?)”

“The Democrats keep loudly proclaiming that Republicans represent only extremely white rich people, while the Democrats represent all Americans. (Bar bet: Among the four major candidates for president and vice president this year, who has the smallest net worth? Answer: George Bush.)”

“Indeed, the belle of the ball at the convention is noted patriot Michael Moore, who apparently thinks Americans who voted for George Bush deserved to be killed on 9/11. The day of the attack, Moore wrote this on his Web page: “Many families have been devastated tonight. This is just not right. They did not deserve to die. If someone did this to get back at Bush, then they did so by killing thousands of people who DID NOT VOTE for him! Boston, New York, D.C. and the planes’ destination of California — these were places that voted AGAINST Bush!” Perhaps Moore could provide the terrorists with a map of the red states before the next attack.”

“Looking at the line-up of speakers at the Convention, I have developed the 7-11 challenge: I will quit making fun of, for example, Dennis Kucinich, if he can prove he can run a 7-11 properly for 8 hours. We’ll even let him have an hour or so of preparation before we open up. Within 8 hours, the money will be gone, the store will be empty, and he’ll be explaining how three 11-year olds came in and asked for the money and he gave it to them.”

“Like Thomas Sowell’s definition of a “racist” (“a conservative winning an argument with a liberal”), the definition of an “unpopular Republican” is “a Republican the Democrats would like to be rid of.” Whenever liberals are being hysterical about a Republican, it’s because that Republican is not good for the Democrats.”

“We don’t have to adopt all the Democrats’ traits ‘ incessant lying, utter shamelessness, criminal behavior and lots of crying ‘ but Republicans need to tattoo this truism on their arms: It’s never a good idea to take advice from your enemies.”

“In one of (John) Edwards’ silver-tongued arguments to the jury on behalf of a girl born with cerebral palsy, he claimed he was channeling the unborn baby girl, Jennifer Campbell, who was speaking to the jurors through him…Is Edwards able to channel any children right before an abortionist’s fork is plunged into their tiny skulls? Why can’t he hear those babies saying, “Let me live! Stop spraying this saline solution all over me!” Edwards must experience interference in channeling the voices of babies about to be aborted. Their liberal mothers’ hands seem to muffle those voices.”

“While making himself fabulously rich by taking a one-third cut of his multimillion-dollar verdicts coaxed out of juries with junk science and maudlin performances, (John) Edwards has the audacity to claim, “I was more than just their lawyer; I cared about them. Their cause was my cause.” If he cared so deeply, how about keeping just 10 percent of the multimillion-dollar jury awards, rather than a third? In fact, as long as these Democrats are so eager to raise the taxes of “the rich,” how about a 90 percent tax on contingency fees?”

“The New York Times ran a front-page news story on Sunday about how life was better for Iraqi girls under Saddam Hussein — living under Saddam, that is, not the girls who were literally under Saddam, Odai and Qusai while they were being raped. The article was titled “For Iraqi Girls, Changing Land Narrows Lives.” True, they don’t have to run from Odai’s rape rooms anymore. But apparently not a single Iraqi female has been admitted to Augusta National Golf Club since the liberation!”

“America’s greatest president has gone home. God worked through Ronald Reagan on Earth and now He’s taken him back. Reagan is survived by his wife, three children, and the hundreds of millions of people he saved by winning the Cold War. Thanks to him, the United States of America never ceased to be, as Reagan said, “a place to escape to” ‘ the last stand on Earth. No thanks to liberals, I might add.”

“Reagan was a bulldog, completely, implacably right-wing on every issue. He was the right-wing Energizer Bunny. He never quit and he kept beating liberals. He cut taxes 25 percent across the board his first year in office; he walked away from Gorbachev at Reykjavik; he fired all those air-traffic controllers ‘ and wouldn’t let them come back even when they wanted to; he gave speeches about “welfare queens” and polluting trees; he nominated Antonin Scalia and Robert Bork to the Supreme Court; and he enraged grim liberals when he warmed up his radio mike by saying, “My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.” But now they’re telling us Reagan was a “pragmatist.” Well, not according to him. As he was wrapping up the Republican primaries in 1980 and moderate weenies in the Republican Party were trying to move him to the “center,” Reagan said: “No, I’m not moving my positions any. … I believe the same things that I’ve been speaking on for years, and I don’t see any reason to change.” Thank God he didn’t. Because Reagan lived, the world is a better place.”

“To refresh everyone’s recollection, before the war began, the Democrats’ argument was that Iraq was not an “imminent” threat to the United States. The Republicans’ argument was: By the time the threat is imminent, Chicago will be gone.”

“If conservatives complained about CBS, ABC, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, PBS, the New York Times, the Washington Post, Time, Newsweek, Vanity Fair, Vogue, Reader’s Digest, NPR, etc. etc. half as much as liberals scream about Fox News, even I would say conservatives were getting to be a bore on the subject.”

“In a democratic process, liberals could never persuade Americans to vote for their insane ideas ‘ abortion on demand, gay marriage and adoption, handgun confiscation, cross-district busing, abolishing the death penalty and affirmative action quotas. So issues are simply taken out of the voters’ hands by the Supreme Court. Vitally important cultural issues are now decided for us by a handful of unelected elites, who, coincidentally, share the ideology of Janeane Garofalo. It’s a lot easier to get a majority out of nine votes than it is to get a majority of 280 million votes.”

“Last week, 9-11 commissioner John Lehman revealed that “it was the policy (before 9-11) and I believe remains the policy today to fine airlines if they have more than two young Arab males in secondary questioning because that’s discriminatory.” Hmmm … Is 19 more than two? Why, yes, I believe it is. So if two Jordanian cab drivers are searched before boarding a flight out of Newark, Osama bin Laden could then board that plane without being questioned. I’m no security expert, but I’m pretty sure this gives terrorists an opening for an attack.”

“If we make excuses for evil ‘ Hitler was a “madman,” a pedophile priest was “weak” or, as philandering actor Ethan Hawke recently advised us, Bill Clinton “suffered from” infidelity ‘ soon we cease being able to distinguish good from evil at all.”

“The leaders of the modern Democratic Party, Hannity says, have made excuses for evil for so long that they cannot recognize evil anymore. The closest thing to it in their vocabulary would be “someone who wears fur.” And of course, they recognize evil in the person of “George W. Bush,” whom they see as the very essence of evil. In fact, Bush may be the only force of evil in the world liberals haven’t wanted to appease.”

“On Sept. 11, 2001, when Bush had been in office for barely seven months, 3,000 Americans were murdered in a savage terrorist attack on U.S. soil by Muslim extremists. Since then, Bush has won two wars against countries that harbored Muslim fanatics, captured Saddam Hussein, immobilized Osama bin Laden, destroyed al-Qaida’s base, and begun to create the only functioning democracy in the Middle East other than Israel. Democrats opposed it all ‘ except their phony support for war with Afghanistan, which they immediately complained about and said would be a Vietnam quagmire. And now they claim to be outraged that in the months before 9-11, Bush did not do everything Democrats opposed doing after 9-11. What a surprise.”

“Before he was put into office because he supported policies favored by al-Qaida terrorists, appeasement candidate Zapatero said: “I want Kerry to win.” Kerry is also supported by North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il, who broadcasts Kerry speeches over Radio Pyongyang with favorable commentary. So now Kerry really does have two foreign leaders on record supporting him: a Socialist terrorist-appeaser and a Marxist mass murderer who dresses like Bea Arthur.”

“Hitler denounced Christianity as an “invention of the Jew” and vowed that the “organized lie (of Christianity) must be smashed” so that the state would “remain the absolute master.” Interestingly, this was the approach of all the great mass murderers of the last century ‘ all of whom were atheists: Hitler, Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot.”

“(Mel) Gibson didn’t insert Jews into (“The Passion of the Christ”) for some Machiavellian, racist reason. Christ was a Jew crucified by Romans at the request of other Jews in Jerusalem. I suppose if Gibson had moved the story to suburban Cleveland and portrayed Republican logging executives crucifying Christ, the left would calm down. But it simply didn’t happen that way.”

“Dennis Kucinich did his tax return this week, and under “occupation” he wrote “Jay Leno punch line.”

“Bush’s National Guard service is the most thoroughly investigated event since the Kennedy assassination. But the Democrats will accept only two possible conclusions to their baseless accusations: (1) Bush was “AWOL,” or (2) the matter needs further investigation.”

“Kerry was indisputably brave in Vietnam, and it’s kind of cute to see Democrats pretend to admire military service. Physical courage, like chastity, is something liberals usually deride, but are tickled when it accidentally manifests itself in one of their own.”

“Kerry’s life experience consists of living off other men’s money by marrying their wives and daughters. For over 30 years, Kerry’s primary occupation has been stalking lonely heiresses. Not to get back to his combat experience, but Kerry sees a room full of wealthy widows as “a target-rich environment.” This is a guy whose experience dealing with tax problems is based on spending his entire adult life being supported by rich women. What does a kept man know about taxes?”

“Liberals scoff at a system to shoot down incoming missiles, but believe that all random suicide bombers can be located and stopped before they strike. Hitting a bullet with a bullet just isn’t feasible, so let’s concentrate on something doable like predicting the future.”

“Then about a month ago, the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press released a poll showing that people who regularly attend religious services supported Bush 63 percent to 37 percent, and those who never attend religious services opposed him 62 percent to 38 percent. When you exclude blacks (as they do in Vermont), who are overwhelmingly Baptist and overwhelmingly Democratic, and rerun the numbers, basically any white person who believes in God is a Republican.”

“What passes for “constitutional law” can be fairly summarized as: Heads we win, tails you lose. The only limit on liberal insanity in this country is how many issues liberals can get before a court.”

“If George W. Bush announced that a cure for cancer had been discovered, Democrats would complain about unemployed laboratory rats.”

“Last week, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court discovered that the state constitution ‘ written in 1780 ‘ requires the state to allow gay marriages. The court gave the legislature six months to rewrite the law to comply with the heretofore unnoticed gay marriage provision in a 223-year-old constitution, leaving countless gay couples a scant six months to select a silverware pattern. Out of respect for my gay male readers, I’ll resist the temptation to characterize this ruling as “shoving gay marriage down our throats.”

“The common wisdom holds that “both parties” have to appeal to the extremes during the primary and then move to the center for the general election. To the contrary, both parties run for office as conservatives. Once they have fooled the voters and are safely in office, Republicans sometimes double-cross the voters. Democrats always do.”

“Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., said the difference in how he would have prosecuted the war in Iraq is: “I would have planned.” Yes, the invasion of Iraq was the usual unplanned, spur-of-the-minute thing that took 14 months.”

“Bumper sticker version of the current Democratic platform: “Ask me about how I’m going to raise your taxes.”

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