Easter Eggs to Be Called Spring Spheres

Make sure to revise your copy of the Newspeak dictionary so that you are not caught using incorrect terminology until the next official edition is published. As part of the ongoing campaign to eradicate even oblique references to Christianity from our culture, Easter eggs are henceforth to be referred to as spring spheres. From moonbatty Seattle:

[High school sophomore] Jessica, 16, told KIRO Radio’s Dori Monson Show that a week before spring break, the students commit to a week-long community service project. She decided to volunteer in a third grade class at a public school, which she would like to remain nameless.

“At the end of the week I had an idea to fill little plastic eggs with treats and jelly beans and other candy, but I was kind of unsure how the teacher would feel about that,” Jessica said. …

“I went to the teacher to get her approval and she wanted to ask the administration to see if it was okay,” Jessica explained. “She said that I could do it as long as I called this treat ‘spring spheres.’ I couldn’t call them Easter eggs.”

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The kids recognized them anyway.

“When I took them out of the bag, the teacher said, ‘Oh look, spring spheres’ and all the kids were like ‘Wow, Easter eggs.’ So they knew,” Jessica said.

Not to worry, comrades. They’re only in third grade; the State has plenty of time to reprogram them. Other local branches of Big Government are taking part too:

The city’s parks department has removed Easter from all of its advertised egg hunts.

Next, the Easter Bunny will have his name changed to the Vernal Rodent.

Whoops, wrong vernal rodent.

On tips from Cluebat From Exodar and Dan F. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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