Gruesome Trainwreck Averted: Bristol And Levi Break Up!

Gruesome Trainwreck Averted: Bristol And Levi Break Up!

Somewhere right now, Sarah Palin is doing this:

Dancing Snoopy

If Bristol Palin were your daughter and you got this news, you’d be celebrating tonight, too:

And just like that, they were off again. “It’s over. I broke up with him,” Bristol Palin tells PEOPLE exclusively of her second try at an engagement to Levi Johnston, father of her 19-month-old son Tripp.

Palin, 19, says the relationship soured on July 14, the very same day they announced their marriage intentions to the world. Palin says he told her that evening he might have fathered a baby with another teenage girl. (Palin did not name the young woman, but a pregnant former girlfriend of Johnston’s has since publicly denied his paternity.)

In an emotional phone interview with PEOPLE, Palin spoke through tears about feeling heartbroken, humiliated and trapped — while Johnston acted cool. “There’s been no remorse,” she says, adding that she’s seen him only once in the past three weeks.

“The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family,” she says. “He’s just obsessed with the limelight and I got played.”

Reps for Johnston did not return calls seeking comment.

Wait a second: You mean one of the biggest douchebags to come along in recent memory got ANOTHER girl pregnant? And, that same guy intended to marry Bristol AND keep mocking her mother to get attention for himself? Also, who would have ever thought that a guy who had taken to calling himself Ricky Hollywood was “obsessed with the limelight?”

This is shocking, shocking, stuff — well, to poor naive Bristol at least. The rest of us were thinking something more along these lines,

So, we have a 19 year old girl marrying a world class douchebag who’s famous for knocking her up and then lying about her parents to the press. If that doesn’t have “successful marriage” written all over it, I don’t know what marriage does. I really wonder if Bristol has any friends who think this is a good idea. You can be sure her parents don’t, but 19 year old girls, being 19 year old girls don’t generally listen to their parents very well. Besides, Sarah can give her 1,000 reasons why she’s making a mistake and the response back every time will be, “But, mama, I’m in luuuuuuvvvvv!”

Still, maybe I’m too cynical in thinking this is the most obvious trainwreck since Dennis Rodman married Carmen Electra.

Somewhere up there, Bristol Palin has a guardian angel saying, “Now that’s some good work. It almost makes up for my falling asleep the night Levi and Bristol met. ….Almost.”

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