BREAKING: Trump WINS Again!

19 Dec, 2016 by Sierra Marlee

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Ha HA! This will be Donald Trump’s 3rd win in a row in the 2016 Presidential election. First, he beats Hillary Clinton on November 8th, then, he won the recount by a larger margin than he had previously, and finally, the electoral college has officially cast their ballots for Trump, sealing the deal.

Donald Trump is going to be our President for the next four years, for better or worse.

Unfortunately for left-wing extremists who couldn’t accept the results of the election, none of their pathetic attempts to overturn the will of the American people have seemed to pan out.

It was officially announced that Donald Trump received the 270 electoral votes necessary to win the Presidency.

Despite claims from Harvard professor Lawrence Lessig that more than 20 Republican electors were considering voting against Trump, these so-called “faithless electors” largely failed to materialize, with state after state delivering its electoral votes exactly in accordance with the popular vote result. The first faithless elector came shortly after 2 pm, when a Maine elector cast his vote for Sen. Bernie Sanders instead of Hillary Clinton. Another elector in Minnesota attempted to cast his vote for Sanders instead of Clinton, but Minnesota state law prohibits such faithless electors, so he was replaced by an alternate who supported Clinton.

Progressive liberals tried their hardest to bully the electors into refusing to vote for Trump, but thankfully, their plans failed.

Thank you to all of the electors who had to endure this kind of abuse and still voted in a way that honors the will of the people.