Taliban Now Recruiting New Members For Its Book Club
- 0share
- Share
- Tweet
- Comment Now 0
Taliban Now Recruiting New Members For Its Book Club: Since their loss of power in Afghanistan, the Taliban have been turning their energies to other activities, including the formation of “The Taliban Book Club.” The book club was set up in the early weeks of 2002, when Mullah Achmet-Abubu Lunituna heard that Oprah was disbanding her popular reading club. “Oprah is the second highest rated show in the greater Kabul area, after reruns of Gomer Pyle,” said Lunituna earlier today, “and when Oprah announced her book club had run its course, I saw a void that needed to be filled.” The Taliban Book Club will operate in a similar fashion to Oprah’s club, as well as others (such as the Today Show Book Club), in that Lunituna will choose a title for members to read and then a selected number of them will meet once a month to discuss their impressions of the work. The Taliban Book Club meetings will be televised live on Al-Jazeera and “anyone” can join, insists Lunituna, “provided they are male, Muslim, have a beard, hate Jews, hate America, hate women, animals and small children and live in a cave.”
The first four titles have already been selected: “Death to America,” a searing portrait of Taliban freedom fighters battling the Great Satan, written by Lunituna himself; “Death to Israel,” a searing portrait of Taliban freedom fighters battling the Little Satan, written by Lunituna’s brother, Dave Lunituna (a drycleaner and part-time writer in Jalalabad); “The Even More Greatest Story Ever Told,” the authorized biography of Osama Bin Laden, written by Mullah Omar; and “Five Days in Paris,” by Danielle Steel. Asked about the latter selection, Lunituna said that “some of us guys really like gushy love stories, okay? Do you have a problem with that?”
If you liked this piece of satire by Marni Malarkey, check out more of his work at Broken Newz.
- 0share
- Share
- Tweet
- Comment Now 0
