Abu Ghraib Guilty Plea Rejected — Satire By Laurence Simon

FT HOOD, TX (IFOC) – A military judge has rejected Abu Ghraib torture suspect Pvt Lynndie England’s guilty plea today.

“I’ve been watching the Robert Blake and Michael Jackson trials, and I was hoping for my own media circus,” said presiding judge Col. James Pohl. “Maybe even a shot at Jay Leno doing a ‘Dancing Pohls’ comedy bit, and I’m an excellent dancer.”

Pohl also pointed out a legal basis for rejecting the plea due to Pvt. Charles Graner Jr. being charged with a conspiracy to torture prisoners with England even though her own plea drops that charge.

“But forget that legal mumbo-jumbo,” said Pohl. “Just one appearance on Larry King. Or the O’Reilly Factor. I’d even do a stint on that Commie radio show on Air America if it can get me a book deal.”

Satire used with the permission of Laurence Simon of The IFOC News. You can read more of his work by clicking here.

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