Alltel Commercials: Harmless Phone Dorks Or Psycho Killers In The Making?

I’ve noted before that the “Burger King” guy is a really creepy dude. You know, he sneaks around, wears a mask, doesn’t talk, and serves people food in odd, isolated spots where he could easily kill them if they were to displease him by not eating his sandwiches.

Nobody tops that guy’s creepiness factor, but the disturbing Alltel phone dorks are definitely in second place.

(Sorry about the poor quality on that one. It was all I could find on YouTube) In this video, these four phone dorks believe they’ve kidnapped a woman’s dog and they tell her she’ll never see the animal again if she switches phone networks. But wait, it gets worse…

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In this video, the phone dorks actually force the Alltel rep in the back of a van and threaten to, “do stuff” to him, “something bad.”

So, they kidnapped a woman’s dog and essentially threatened to kill it and then they work their way up to a human being. What’s the next commercial going to feature? The phone nerds breaking into someone’s house and then setting his house on fire for refusing to switch phone networks? Maybe they’ll kidnap someone’s child and send one finger at a time to the kid’s parents in the mail until they agree to drop their Alltel phone service.

It’s like they’re working their way up to more and more horrific crimes and we’re supposed to find it funny because they’re such hapless dorks. Of course, it’s exactly that sort of laughter that causes a criminally deviant, maladjusted dork to snap and bash someone’s skull in with a lamp after he’s humiliated one too many times in what he views as a world gone wrong.

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