And Watch Out For The Global Pop Quiz! By Frank J.
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Kerry mentioned a “global test” during Thursday debates, so I sent my crack research staff to find out what that could be. Ends up, it’s freely available from the U.N. Here it is:
THE GLOBAL TEST FOR PREEMPTIVE STRIKES
Brought to you by your local U.N.
Please answer these questions with a “yes” or “no” in regards to your proposed preemptive strike.
* Is this action needed to protect your nation from an imminent threat?
* Have you considered all other courses of action?
* Will the U.N. actually have to do anything other than talk?
* Will this financially benefit France?
* Does Communist China think it’s a good idea?
* Do all Communist nations think it’s a good idea?
* Even Cuba?
* Can you wait for at least 18 months of pointless U.N. debate before acting?
* Will this in no way help Israel?
* Will this interfere with any current kickback programs at the U.N.?
* Will this in no way anger any Muslims?
* Did you obtain the permission of the country you plan to invade?
If you answered “yes” to all these questions, then you will be allowed to do a preemptive strike after you allow for the debate, fill out an ecological impact form, and grease all the right palms. Thank you for supporting your local U.N. and have a peaceful, globally popular day.
If you enjoyed this satire by Frank J., you can read more of his work at Imao.
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