Another Member Of The VRWC

Another Member Of The VRWC

Another Member Of The VRWC: First I brought Michele Catalano from A Small Victory into the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and now Rachel Lucas is going to be joining the club…

Rachel darling, you won’t regret it! Soon we’ll be by to pick you up in one of our black helicopters and we’ll fly you to a scenic island we keep hidden from the rest of the world. You’ll dine on marinated dodo bird and “panda on a stick” as we remove Elvis from his specially prepared cryogenic chamber for a private concert.

Then after dinner we’ll all head to the game room where members of the VRWC control predator drones hunting terrorists across the world by remote control. We even put cameras on the ends of the Hellfire missiles so we could see the faces of the terrorists as we blow them up. After Ann Coulter killed Abu Ali yesterday, we must have watched the video a half-dozen times. You should have seen the look on his face — it was priceless!

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Last but not least, we’ll cap off the evening by hunting the most dangerous prey of all — al-Queda terrorists. We had 50 terrorists shipped down from Gitmo and we’ll be hunting them all across the Eastern half of the island. They’ll be running barefoot while trying to dodge quicksand and pits filled with pungi sticks. On the other hand, you’ll be piloting the militaries latest secret weapon — the Ronald “Maximus” Reagan M-Class Mech Warrior (we call it the RMR for short). Your RMR is capable of firing off 5000 rounds a minute if you’re just playing around or you can switch to the laser cannon if you really mean business. Remember, you’ll have to go all out to beat Newt Gingrich’s 29 kill record.

But whether you beat Newt’s record or not, welcome to club Rachel!

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