Beef Council Scores Big With “Hitler Was a Vegetarian” Ad Campaign By William Grim

Already benefiting from the “Atkins” effect, beef sales have increased 867% in the past three months, according to industry analysts who say that the amazing increase is directly attributable to the success of the “Hitler Was a Vegetarian” ad campaign funded by the American Beef Council.

“Yeah, Hitler has been real good for beef,” says Mel Saatchi, Creative Director of ad giant Saatchi & Saatchi, the creators of the campaign. “Images of Hitler and hordes of SS and brownshirts eating carrots and tofu have successfully branded in the public’s mind the idea of beef as the food of freedom. From now on when you think vegetarian, you think genocidal maniac. John Wayne equals beef. Adolf Hitler equals radish. Slam dunk.”

In related news, a spokesperson for the National Bourbon Board said yesterday that his organization will unveil its “Benedict Arnold Drank Milk” ad campaign on June 1st.

If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz.

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