Drown And Die, You Arrogant Hillbilly Southern-Fried Leeches!

06 Sep, 2005 by John Hawkins

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Since Katrina hit, the left has been pumping out wacko commentary practically non-stop. However, I don’t think I’ve run across anything that tops this:

“The lecture comes down to this: BUSH CAUSED THIS DISASTER.

And YOU caused this disaster, you southern soft-heads, because you voted for that ape.

Bush caused this disaster by ignoring global warming. He caused it by listening to quack pseudoscientists instead of real scientists.

Bush caused this disaster by un-funding SELA, a program designed to keep levees at proper strength in New Orleans. A simple fact of history: New Orleans — the one major city in the south with culture and style — was obliterated by Bush’s refusal to fund hurricane and flood protection measures. Unforgivable!

Bush caused this disaster by squashing FEMA. Money was diverted from that agency to Iraq, leaving our emergency services impotent.

Bush caused this disaster by transferring the National Guard to Iraq, where they serve only one purpose: THEFT. Instead of protecting American citizens, our troops now protect Haliburton and other companies, who are carrying out their evil plan to buy up everything worth buying in that country. The money is being siphoned out of Iraq and into the pockets of Cheney, Bush and their greedy cronies.

Bush caused this easily-forecast disaster by not having troops on hand to evacuate citizens.

Bush caused this catastrophe by fiddling — or GIT-tarring — while New Orleans drowned.

That’s the message you need to hear, you barbaric, Jesus-addled, Limbaugh-tomized red-state hicks.

And you will sit there and listen to it and say NOTHING in response. We blue-staters are sick to death of your arrogant lies and smears and fake science and supernaturalistic yawpings and ludicrous self-deceits.

You literally cannot continue to exist unless we blue-staters give you money. The situation is that simple. You have been leeching off of us for years, and now you depend on our charity for your very lives.

So if you Jesusmaniac simpletons really want that cash, you will just sit there and SHUT UP and not say ONE DAMN WORD in your defense.

BUSH CAUSED THIS DISASTER. YOU CAUSED THIS DISASTER BY VOTING FOR BUSH.

You don’t like that message? Then don’t take our money!

If I read ONE MORE article in which a science-hating red state pundit attacks progressives, I’m going to take the money I was going to donate to disaster relief and spend it on a nice Thai meal. And I’m going to suggest that all other progressives do likewise.

I’m going to say “DROWN AND DIE, YOU ARROGANT HILLBILLY SOUTHERN-FRIED LEECHES!!”

As Shakespeare said, you did make love to this employment. You inflicted your fate on yourselves — by inflicting Bush upon the world.” — Joseph Cannon from Cannonfire