I Get Letters: Which American City Will Bush Nuke Next?

25 Jul, 2005 by John Hawkins

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Normally, I save the hate mail and loony letters up so I can post them at one time, but this one was too good to wait…

From: (joeyblong@*******)
Subject: WHICH AMERICAN CITY WILL BUSH NUKE?

WHICH AMERICAN CITY WILL BUSH NUKE? THE NEOCOMMS ARE DESPERATE TO KEEP POWER, AND A “NATIONAL EMERGENCY” OF THIS MAGNITUDE WOULD ENSURE THEY KEEP IT. 9/11 DIDN’T QUITE DO THE TRICK. WILL IT BE SAN FRANCISCO? THEN BUSH COULD SITE THE DESTRUCTION OF THE SODOMITES AS PROOF THAT THE LORD HATES DEMOCRATS AND LIBERALS. AMERICA, AS A CONSTITUTIONAL DEMOCRACY, IS SOON TO BE NO MORE.

IN JESUS’ GLORIOUS AND HOLY NAME,

DEAN BERRY – REAL AMERICAN

Actually, Dean, as a member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, I can tell you that if Bush were going to set off a nuke in California, he’d want to go for San Fran, Oakland, and LA, because that would wipe out enough liberals to turn the state Republican indefinitely, thus guaranteeing an endless string of Republicans in the White House…..just kidding, just kidding!

But wait, if Bush were to set off a nuke in San Francisco, using Tom Tancredo logic, wouldn’t we have to nuke Crawford, Texas as retaliation? Again, just kidding, just kidding, come on, laugh it off, Dean.

PS: Here’s a special message for Dean. People who worry about Bush setting off a nuke in the US are really crazy!!! So crazy that I have to use 3 exclamation points to show just how crazy they are!!! Get help!!!