McGruff the Crime Dog to Restore Order in Baghdad

03 Jun, 2003 by John Hawkins

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McGruff the Crime Dog to Restore Order in Baghdad: Washington, DC – President Bush has called McGruff the Crime Dog out of retirement and asked him to establish a Neighborhood Watch program in Baghdad.

Mr. McGruff, who for the past five years has resided at a luxury retirement kennel in Boca Raton, said that he is delighted to once again be asked to “take a bite out of crime.”

During a press conference at the White House this morning Mr. McGruff reminded the people of Baghdad to keep their eyes and ears open and to report any suspicious activities in their neighborhoods such as:

(1) strange kids playing in the streets with rocket-propelled grenades;

(2) neighbors mixing martinis with centrifuges used to produce weapons-grade plutonium;

(3) kindergarten students taking lapus lazuli statues from the ancient city of Ur to school for show and tell;

(4) any cable repairman who looks suspiciously like Tariq Aziz.

If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz.