The DNC Tries to Emulate Michael Moore

Hi, it’s me, Frank J. of — the world’s most famous Frank J.

Anyway, please watch this. It’s supposedly a DNC production and mercifully only about thirty seconds long:

Holy crap that was lame! I’m starting to think I should do a museum of lame attempts of humor by politicians and political groups, starting with this and that statement on the Simpsons from John Kerry.

The Fred Thompson campaign is having what looks to be some trouble, and that would leave the DNC some material to work with if the they really think its wise to focus attacks on him this early. But all they come up with is to have a guy walk into the Fred Thompson campaign office and sheepishly leave a life-preserver. I’m assuming the reason he exits so abruptly at the end is he got so nervous he peed his pants. Otherwise, the plan was for him to stand there giggling awkwardly for a minute until everyone in the office decided to ignore him and get back to work.

It’s easy to criticize, so here is a better idea: He walks in and announces, “Since I heard Fred Thompson’s campaign is taking on water, I’m going to dance a silly little monkey dance.” Then he dances a silly little monkey dance and leaves without saying another word.

Now, that wouldn’t make a political point, but it would a million times funnier and the original one barely had any point to it either. With a little adjustment, though, it could make a point. After the guy dances his monkey dance and leaves, the screen would go to black with the words, “Fred Thompson: So ineffective a leader he can’t stop someone from coming into his campaign headquarters and dancing a silly little monkey dance.” Then people would think to themselves, “If Fred Thompson can’t stop a ninety-pound goober from coming into his campaign headquarters and dancing a monkey dance, how can he stop terrorists?” Now that’s potentially devastating.

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