The Palin Game!

10 Oct, 2008 by Morgan Freeberg

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Here’s an interesting little mental exercise to try. First, come up with a list of reasons to oppose Sarah Palin. Not her running mate; just her. Think back on everything you’ve heard. Every rationalization. Every supposed scandal. Every little blessed thing. You’re making an exhaustive list, here.

From that, eliminate two things that are only fair.

One: Anything that falls under the umbrella category of “She’s a dimwit.” Because let’s face it: Over the last twenty years, that’s been exposed as a liberal democrat fail-safe to be used against frighteningly influential Republicans, when they can’t find a scandal. It’s what seven-year-olds say when they can’t think of a response but want to continue the argument: “Yoooooou’re stoooopid!” It’s the democrat party check-engine light. Just canx it. She’s a dimwit, she’s an airhead, she doesn’t know foreign policy, blah blah blah. It’s just empty space. Ballast. Throw it overboard.

Two: Anything that falls under the umbrella category of “She doesn’t have the values of a hardcore left-wing democrat.” Because, last I checked, a democrat isn’t what she is.

Now take everything left over, and try to make it sound convincing.

Um…there was a story going around about “I can see Russia from my house!”, which she never said…and there was another story going around that her daughter’s kid is really hers, or her kid is really her daughter’s, or something…that was proven false. She has a tanning bed. Oh here’s something — her daughter is pregnant but not married. But will be. To the father. So her kid did things a little bit out-of-sequence. Um…uh…her husband was arrested for drunk driving, or convicted of a DUI, or something, twenty-two years ago. When she fires someone, she wants them to be really truly fired, and if you get in the way she’ll fire your ass. In other words, she’s a capable, effective administrator…

…dang, this is shaping up to be a real loser’s game, huh?

Am I missing something? Because it’s been, like, a month and a half already. Now, just for kicks, repeat the exercise with Joe Biden. And then with Barack Obama.

Cross-posted at House of Eratosthenes.