This Is Pathetic — Even For The Loathsome French

This Is Pathetic — Even For The French: France put America’s security at risk by undercutting the war in Iraq & they’ve worked hard to rally Europe and the rest of the world against us. Make no mistake about it, France has acted like an enemy nation that views it’s own success as being tied to American failure. Despite all of that, the French are terrible upset that the American public has not taken kindly to France’s sneering betrayal. Just listen to what France’s ambassador to the United States, Jean-David Levitte has to say about the jokes aimed at France…

“It’s my job to remind that these funny little jokes are not so funny, because they are taken seriously on the other side of the Atlantic,” he says. “We may differ on very serious issues – war and peace, pre-emptive war, international law, but is it a good reason to have this campaign of french-bashing?”

….It’s not funny because if fuels resentment,” Levitte said. “You know, people in France see that and say, ‘How can a great democracy like America be so petty, so absurd?’ We may differ on war and peace, but please, French fries are french fries.”

See? We Americans are petty and absurd — doesn’t that make you want to buy more French wine? But wait, it gets better! France has decided to run advertising campaigns in the United States (it worked so well for Saudi Arabia right?). Their spokesman is perfect for them. Guess who it is…’s not Jerry Lewis…it’s Woody Allen! Yes, the French picked an effete perv to be their spokesman. I guess Michael Jackson was unavailable. Oh and you just have to read what Allen says in one of the pro-French commercials…

“I don’t want to freedom kiss my wife. I want to French kiss her.”

Wait a second…if I remember correctly, didn’t Allen marry Soon-Yi Previn, who Allen helped raise from the time she 8 years until old she started cheating on her mother with “daddy”? It’s almost as if the French are saying, “We think so little of you Americans that we are only using Woody Allen in our commercials. If we did not hold you in such contempt, we’d use better spokesman like Clint Eastwood or Harrison Ford.”

Were I in the White House, we’d have policy meetings that would start out with, “OK, I want to see 15% unemployment in France, Jacques Chirac crying like a baby on national television, & France less popular than Vanilla Ice at the Apollo. How can we make that happen?” We should make an example out of France. Let’s hope the Bush administration doesn’t go soft on them.

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