Everything You Need To Know About The State Of The Union Last Night In Just Two Minutes

What can anyone really say about the State of the Union?

You lie….AGAIN! #SOTUinthreewords

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

Trending: The 15 Best Conservative News Sites On The Internet

Shorter #SOTU – Blame, blame, blamety, blame. Shorter Twitter: Snark, snark, snarkety, snark.

– Breeanne Howe (@breeannehowe) January 29, 2014

 

It certainly wasn’t very exciting. Let’s see, how can I convey how dull it was?

Somewhere a worker is helping to build a car..zzzzzz….we’ve got to work together….zzzzz…work harder for the people… #stateoftheunion

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

This is truly an AWFUL start to the speech. Did he replace his speech writers with earnest liberal high school students? #SOTU

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

In fact, the most interesting part of the speech may have been the people in the audience.

RT @FNTheFive: PHOTO: Duck Dynasty’s @WillieBossHog is @RepMcAllister‘s guest to the #SOTU. #foxnewsCHAT pic.twitter.com/hYXeMWr59c

– Pam C (@PamYotesFan) January 29, 2014

 

Creepy! RT @BrianMFloyd: BIDEN https://t.co/epd5NnCs4g

– Heather Smith (@heatherlsmith) January 29, 2014

 

Granted, there may have been a few people who liked the speech.

Chris Matthews is already preparing to call this dull prattling the greatest speech since the Gettysburg Address #sotu

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

But, most of us just thought it went on way too long.

Most depressing part so far: It’s not over yet.

– Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) January 29, 2014

 

Know what would really improve this plodding speech? That sign language interpreter from the Mandela funeral. #SOTU

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

Of course, there were a few controversial parts. For example, Barack Obama falsely claimed that the science was settled on global warming.

Oh yeah, the debate over global warming is settled…oh hold on, sorry, I was distracted by all the sleet we’re getting..at the beach #sotu

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

His false claim that women are only paid 77 cents on every dollar that a man is paid for the same work raised a few eyebrows as well.

RT @iowahawkblog: If women get paid less than men for the same work, why would a capitalist ever hire a man?

– Melissa Clouthier (@MelissaTweets) January 29, 2014

 

“Gender wage gap in Obama’s White House: Female staffers earn less than 87 cents on the dollar compared to men.” #sotu

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

Of course, he did allude to income inequality, encouraged businesses to raise wages and gave a happy, smiley, everything sure is going great with Obamacare pep talk.

I’m sure a lot of people would love to raise wages. Could you cut regulations & get rid of Obamacare so they’d have the cash to do it? #sotu

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

Obama’s comments about how he was on track to persuade Iran to forget about nukes were ludicrous as well. It’s almost as if he started with the assumption that no one viewing the speech had been watching the news for the last month.

Iran FM on the deal: “We did not agree to dismantle anything.” http://t.co/CjkWNrQEwl

– Guy Benson (@guypbenson) January 29, 2014

 

His other foreign policy comments were almost as vacuous.

Notice how those lines about how well Iraq is doing are gone

– Peter Beinart (@PeterBeinart) January 29, 2014

 

Obama made America more safe, mainly due to the fact that Benghazi is not in America. #sotu

– Erik Telford (@BlameTelford) January 29, 2014

 

Surprisingly, the highlight of the speech was when Obama said nice things about wounded warrior Cory Remsburg, who was badly injured fighting for our country. Both parties applauded those comments, which is ironic since…

Obama & the rest of the Dems just cut pensions for people like the soldier they’re saluting right now &Paul Ryan & Boehner helped. #SOTU

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

After Obama’s horrible, awful, no good speech rolled to a close, Cathy McMorris Rogers gave the response from a broom closet with a couch somewhere on Capitol Hill. She was quite pleasant and likable, but was so substance free that I literally don’t remember anything she said other than her name.

Why doesn’t the GOP rent out an auditorium for these responses so they don’t look quite so small ball in comparison? #SOTU

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

Both Obama & Cathy McMorris Rodgers endorse good people, good things, stuff you like! Who says we can’t have bipartisanship? #sotu

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014

 

That’s everything you need to know about the State of the Union address in just two minutes.