Weird – Page 2 – John Hawkins' Right Wing News

Monster 15-inch rat terrorises family after chewing through CONCRETE wall to get to their kitchen

Posted on March 27, 2014March 27, 2014 by John Hawkins

If dinosaurs had rats in their kitchens, they’d look like this. You could make a coat out of this thing, you know, if you wanted a rat coat for some weird reason. A Swedish family suffered the shock of a lifetime when they discovered that the ‘kitchen mouse’ that had their cat running around in […]

Man Sues Company for $2.5 Million for Not Pretending He Is a Woman

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Dave Blount

Under rule by liberals, the concept of equality has been discarded in favor of a caste system. It can be represented as a pyramid, with the “untouchables” — sane, sexually normal white men with a Christian background who work for a living — at the very bottom. As you climb toward the peak of the […]

Pronoun Trouble

Posted on February 12, 2014 by Dave Blount

By now you have probably noticed the establishment media’s confusing practice of promoting liberals’ bizarre psychosexual agenda by referring to the sexually perplexed with inappropriate pronouns to endorse their delusion that they are members of the opposite sex. Here is a story in which the main character is never referred to with a pronoun at […]

Diversity Means Many Options

Posted on December 2, 2013 by Dave Blount

This is evidently not a joke, but an actual screenshot from an application to Bellevue College in suburban Seattle: Via MyNorthwest.com: Instead of the standard “Male” and “Female” boxes that one checks on applications, there was the question: What is your ‘gender identity’? And seven different options: Feminine, Masculine, Androgynous, Gender Neutral, Transgender, Other and […]

White Supremacist finds out he’s black

Posted on November 14, 2013November 14, 2013 by Kevin Jackson

As if this story were written by Dave Chappelle himself, a white supremacist finds out on national TV that he’s 14 percent African. That is exactly what happens to white supremacist Dave Chappelle, as art mimics life. Cobb plays iconic character, Clayton Grisby, the black white supremacist, a character forever etched in the imaginations of […]

School says transgender boy’s rights trump girls’ privacy in bathroom

Posted on October 15, 2013October 15, 2013 by Janeen Capizola

It’s a liberal world gone mad at one: Colorado: high school, where the rights of one transgender student have trumped the rights of other students forced to share a bathroom. The: transgender student,: a male who identifies himself as a female, has sexually harassed female students in the girl’s bathroom at: Florence High School,: Pacific Justice Institute reported. Not only have […]

Davecat Explores a New Frontier in the Evolution of the Family

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Dave Blount

A 40-year-old Michigan IT worker suggests the next frontier in what Guido Barilla calls the “evolution of the family”: Davecat, the online pseudonym he lives by, has shunned what he calls ‘organic woman’ in favor of plastic females as they will never cheat on him or end their relationship. He married one doll he has […]

Environmental Activist Vera Scroggins Calls for Parental Pedophilia

Posted on August 30, 2013August 31, 2013 by Dave Blount

Environmental activist Vera Scroggins provides more evidence that normalizing pedophilia will be next on the progressive agenda. Via Gateway Pundit: Obama supporter and prominent anti-fracking loon, Vera Scroggins is also a public advocate for parental pedophilia. Scroggins made comments on a Yahoo group called “Peacelist,” a group that is “dedicated to the advancement of the […]

Crack Cocaine as a Medium of Exchange

Posted on May 17, 2013 by Dave Blount

If we continue to let liberals run the country, there is little doubt that our currency will soon become worthless, as our rulers will continue to print it and spend it far faster than we can generate wealth for it to represent. What will we use for transactions? Once again Detroit — America’s most liberal […]

Barack Obama Is Now Apparently Hiring Alien Shape Shifters As Security

Posted on March 22, 2013March 22, 2013 by John Hawkins

Hey, Barack Obama, it’s time to put America first. Actually, scratch that; How about just putting HUMAN BEINGS first. Scratch that, how about just putting creatures native to our planet first and hiring actual HUMAN BEINGS from America instead of space aliens? Is that too much to ask? Apparently, according to some geniuses on the […]

ZERO EFFECT: The Unintentionally Hilarious Trailer for Pro-Obama Movie

Posted on July 13, 2012July 13, 2012 by Matt Vespa

It’s Friday, so what better way to kick off the weekend than a hilarious trailer promoting an over-the-top pro-Obama movie.: Judging by the 2:30-long trailer for The Obama Effect, the movie, set in 2008, is the fictional account of a man named John (played by Charles S. Dutton) who suffers a heart attack and discovers […]

Going This Nuts Over A Spider Gets Your Mancard Permanently Pulled

Posted on June 14, 2012June 14, 2012 by John Hawkins

If a woman spots a spider and alerts you of its existence by shrieking, “Oooh! Spider! ACKKKK! Get it, get it, get it, get,” it’s your job as a man to take care of it for her. Seriously, that’s a rule. This is not the correct way for a man to handle that situation. A […]

For Future Generations: The Zombie Outbreak Started In Miami, Florida.

Posted on May 29, 2012May 29, 2012 by John Hawkins

Isn’t this how zombie movies always seem to start? The naked Miami man who was shot dead after allegedly being found eating another man’s face in a drug-induced rage has been identified. Oh, so the guy was filled with “rage” and he was eating another person in broad daylight? That ring any bells? British animal […]

If Only Ann Landers Had Lived Long Enough To Give Advice About Gay Twin Incest

Posted on February 20, 2012 by John Hawkins

Apparently Slate has some chick named Emily Yoffe who gives advice and as you’d expect, since she’s at Slate, she’s kind of a moron. On the other hand, what does anyone say to this? Dear Prudence, My fraternal twin and I (both men) are in our late 30s. We were always extremely close and shared […]

The Story Is A Metaphor For What’s Wrong With America Today

Posted on October 20, 2011October 21, 2011 by John Hawkins

From electing Obama, to the Occupy Wall Street protests, to our huge, overweening government, it all stems from the same problem. The California man who lives part of his life as an “adult baby” and collects Social Security disability payments says the federal agency has cleared him of wrongdoing and will continue sending checks. Stanley […]

Squatter Gets $300,000 Home for $16

Posted on July 21, 2011 by Dave Blount

Working hard to pay off an underwater mortgage? I am — but Kenneth Robinson sure isn’t. Due to one of the many screwball quirks that characterize our legal system, he has achieved ownership of a $300,000 home in Flower Mound, Texas for $16. The house had been in foreclosure for more than a year and […]

Self-Mutilating Inmate Demands Free Sex Change

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Dave Blount

Remember Stanley Thornton, the “adult baby” who spends his days wallowing in an oversized crib and soiling his diapers on the taxpayers’ dime, and who threatened to kill himself if Big Government cuts off the flow of other people’s money? Convict Ophelia De’lonta has issued a still more disturbing threat. The inmate at Buckingham Correctional […]

Progressive Parents Raise Genderless Baby

Posted on May 23, 2011May 25, 2011 by Dave Blount

What moonbattery has done to politics, art, music, and most every other facet of Western Civilization it is also doing to parenting. Kathy Witterick and her husband David Stocker are taking the next progressive step into our deconstructed postmodern future by raising a genderless child: While there’s nothing ambiguous about Storm’s genitalia, they aren’t telling […]

Calling Pets “Pets” Is a Thought Crime

Posted on April 28, 2011 by Dave Blount

It’s time for a new edition of the Newspeak dictionary. According to the pointy-headed circus clowns who pass down surrealist moral judgments from atop their ivory towers, our current vocabulary oppresses animals: Animal lovers should stop calling their furry or feathered friends “pets” because the term is insulting, leading academics claim. Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters […]

Fish Rescued From Global Warming by Llamas and British Taxpayers

Posted on April 25, 2011 by Dave Blount

Just because there hasn’t been any “global warming” since the 1990s is no reason not to carry fish by llama into the mountains where they’ll be safe from it. From the moonbattery-ravaged farce we once knew as Great Britain: Thousands of rare fish have been given a lift up a mountain on the back of […]

Great Moments In Multi-Culturalism: The Saudi Black Magic Edition

Posted on April 6, 2011April 8, 2011 by John Hawkins

Wow, who’d have ever thought a nation famous for tribalism, religious extremism, and their frighteningly backwards attitude towards women would actually have a government agency that deals with black magic? JEDDAH, (Saudi Arabia): A total of 30 officials of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice (Haia) have been trained on […]

Hugo Chavez: Capitalism Ended Life on Mars

Posted on March 23, 2011 by Dave Blount

No wonder Comrade Obama has essentially pulled the plug on NASA, reducing it to a propaganda ministry devoted to publicizing the ancient scientific achievements of Muslims. He just wanted to stop the genocide. His pal Hugo Chavez reveals that capitalism may have snuffed out life on Mars: “I have always said, heard, that it would […]

If You Didn’t Want People To Laugh At You, You Shouldn’t Have Become A Witch

Posted on March 7, 2011 by John Hawkins

This time Charlie Sheen has REALLY done it. What has he done now? He’s made Harry Potter and company mad at him, In a week in which the embattled actor described himself as having “tiger blood” and other apparently super-human aspects usually found in the pages of comic books, the star described himself as a […]

Eco-NutMobile to Tour USA

Posted on February 28, 2011 by Dave Blount

Apparently advertisers haven’t gotten the word that most of us have been fed to the teeth with the politically correct eco-craze. The greenwashing of every imaginable product continues. Now Planters wants us to associate eating peanuts with saving the polar bears from their imaginary plight: A new peanut-shaped NutMobile is the latest in the line […]

Homosexual Brainwashing on the Battlefield in Afghanistan

Posted on February 28, 2011February 28, 2011 by Dave Blount

Due largely to absurd rules of engagement that tie their hands and a “Commander in Chief” who is uncomfortable with the concept of victory, our troops in Afghanistan have been left hanging in the wind. They aren’t allowed to win, but they can’t come home either, because admitting defeat before the 2012 election would make […]

Moonbat Romance

Posted on February 14, 2011 by Dave Blount

Valentine’s Day is as good a time as any to examine the current state of romance in once great Britain, the canary in the coalmine of moonbattery: In this day and age, when a thrice-married former fireman who has become a woman meets a Jamaican lesbian chef online there can only be one outcome — […]

Snap! Wikileaks Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize

Posted on February 3, 2011 by William Teach

Well, well, well, it would be interesting if it won. It would join a long list of idiocracy in giving it to Yassar Arafat, LÃª ??c Th?, Al Gore and the UN IPCC, Barack Obama, IAEA and Mohammed ElBaradei, Kofi Annan and the UN, and Jimmy Carter. A Norwegian politician said he has nominated WikiLeaks […]

That Was One Hell Of A Speech You Gave On Salmon Last Night, Mr. Obama…Wait, What?

Posted on January 26, 2011 by William Teach

Apparently, according to NPR, what people got out of the 2011 State Of The Union Prom was….salmon Right after President Barack Obama finished his State of the Union address, we asked our listeners to describe his speech in three words. We received responses from more than 4,000 of you. We’ve run them through a word […]

Child Hauled Off to Prison for Using Magic Marker in Class

Posted on December 23, 2010 by Dave Blount

When will miscreants learn that unless you’re an illegal alien, crime doesn’t pay? A 13-year-old boy was arrested Friday for using a permanent marker while in class at his Oklahoma City middle school, a violation of an obscure city ordinance. According to an Oklahoma City Police Department report, the boy was spotted “in possession of […]

Sarah Palin Makes Liberals Act Like Weirdos

Posted on December 9, 2010December 12, 2010 by Susannah Fleetwood

For some odd reason, Sarah Palin causes liberal elites to rabidly foam at the mouth. Professor William Jacobson of the blog Legal Insurrection wrote an insightful piece about how conservatives seem to reflexively defend Palin, because liberals seem to be perpetually attacking her. Furthermore, not only do liberals seem to revel in finding weird reasons […]