Campaign to Instill Hoplophobia Marches On

Jun, 2013

The liberal establishment will stop at nothing to embed hoplophobia in the minds of the next generation, so that our constitutional right to bear arms will not continue to be an obstacle to a glorious utopian future. The objective of the brainwashing is simple: imprint deeply in young minds that guns = punishment. The campaign reaches new extremes of absurdity on a daily basis.

For example:

A kindergartner who brought a cowboy-style cap gun onto his Calvert County [Maryland] school bus was suspended for 10 days after showing a friend the orange-tipped toy, which he had tucked inside his backpack on his way to school, according to his family and a lawyer.

The child was questioned for more than two hours before his mother was called, she said, adding that he uncharacteristically wet his pants during the episode.

He would have been kept out of class for the rest of the school year, if educrats had not relented in the face of public ridicule, commuting his sentence to time served.

Good thing the gun wasn’t loaded, or the kid would really be in trouble.

The mother said the principal told her that if the cap gun had been loaded with caps, it would have been deemed an explosive and police would have been called in.

You don’t have to do anything as outrageous as bring a toy gun to school to get in big trouble. Just talking about guns is enough:

Bruce Henkelman of Huntingtown says his son, a sixth grader at Northern Middle School in Owings [Maryland], was talking with friends about the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre when the bus driver hauled him back to school to be questioned by the principal, Darrel Prioleau.

“The principal told me that with what happened at Sandy Hook if you say the word ‘gun’ in my school you are going to get suspended for 10 days,” Henkelman said in an interview with WMAL.com.

So what did the boy say? According to his father, he neither threatened nor bullied anyone.

“He said, I wish I had a gun to protect everyone. He wanted to defeat the bad guys. That’s the context of what he said,” Henkelman said. “He wanted to be the hero.”

The boy was questioned by the principal and a sheriff’s deputy, who also wanted to search the family home without a warrant, Henkelman said. “He started asking me questions about if I have firearms, and [the deputy said] he’s going to have to search my house.”

America has been fundamentally transformed, all right.

Can this be topped for absurdity? Sure:

Hunter Spanjer says his name with a certain special hand gesture, but at just three and a half years old, he may have to change it.

“He’s deaf, and his name sign, they say, is a violation of their weapons policy,” explained Hunter’s father, Brian Spanjer.

Grand Island’s “Weapons in Schools” Board Policy 8470 forbids “any instrument…that looks like a weapon.”

In the end, authorities let Hunter keep his name — again probably as a result of public ridicule.

One more:

[A] group of students from Chase Lake Elementary School in Edmonds, Washington, asked their teacher if they could bring Nerf guns to school. The teacher gave permission, but the school punished the children with suspension anyway.

The students even had a perfectly legitimate reason to bring the guns to school; they wanted to fire foam darts 100 times as part of a probability experiment.

The school quickly enforced its zero tolerance policy and booted the students. In fact, they even suspended students who were simply present during the experiment.

This time the authorities are standing firm behind their absurd suspensions. The teacher who told them to bring the toys was not punished. You aren’t supposed to respect authority in the sort of country this is becoming; you are supposed to fear it and its lunatic whims.

But there is some good news for boys who haven’t been effeminized out of a natural fondness for guns. Eight-year-old Joshua Welch, who was suspended from elementary school for eating a Pop-Tart into a shape that vaguely resembled a pistol, is the proud recipient of a free NRA lifetime membership.

With any luck this campaign will backfire, and instead of an unhealthy fear of guns, the educrats will instill a very healthy hatred of the authoritarianism that private ownership of guns protects us against.

On tips from Muddypaw, G. Fox, Wingmann, Sean C, Dan Feely, and Trolls Are Lonely and Blue. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.