Whale Droppings Cure Global Warming

Considering moonbats’ obsessions with whales and with all things scatological, it’s surprising that they have only now stumbled upon the substance that could cure the earth of the imaginary global warming crisis — whale droppings:

Southern Ocean sperm whales are an unexpected ally in the fight against global warming, removing the equivalent carbon emissions from 40,000 cars each year thanks to their faeces, a study found on Wednesday.

The cetaceans have been previously fingered as climate culprits because they breathe out carbon dioxide (CO2), the commonest greenhouse gas.

You know who else breathes out carbon dioxide? You! Climate culprit!

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Actually, water vapor is a far more significant greenhouse gas. Did you take a shower this morning? Then you’re twice a climate culprit!

Here’s how the majestic whales redeem themselves for breathing:

Australian biologists estimated that the estimated 12,000 sperm whales in the Southern Ocean each defecate around 50 tonnes of iron into the sea every year after digesting the fish and squid they hunt.

The iron is a terrific food for phytoplankton — marine plants that live near the ocean surface and which suck up CO2 from the atmosphere through photosynthesis.

As a result of faecal fertilisation, the whales remove 400,000 tonnes of carbon each year, twice as much as the 200,000 tonnes of CO2 that they contribute through respiration.

Here we see the true reason Al Gore qualifies as an environmental saint. When he opens his mouth, he releases more defecation than CO2, thus cooling the globe to the great relief of the polar bears.

But back to the whales. You had to know where this story was going…

Industrialised whaling not only gravely threatened Southern Ocean sperm whales, it also damaged a major carbon “sink,” the scientific term for something that removes more greenhouse gases than it produces… The future of sperm whales and other species comes under scrutiny next week in Agadir, Morocco, where the International Whaling Commission (IWC) discusses a plan to relax a 24-year moratorium on commercial whaling.

Funny how many scientific discoveries are perfectly timed to aid the liberal agenda these days.

On a tip from Muddypaw. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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