Nanny Nazis Link Soda to Cancer Through Premature Puberty

First they came after tobacco, but I said nothing, because after all, smoking too much can give you cancer. Now they are coming after “sugary drinks.” To get an idea of how hysterically over the top the anti-soda jihad is getting, refer to the New York Times:

Here is another mark against sugary drinks: A new study has found that drinking them is associated with lowered age of menarche.

Age of first menses has decreased substantially since the early 20th century, and studies have shown that younger age of menarche is associated with increased risk of breast and endometrial cancer in later life.

Lest anyone take these largely politically driven studies too seriously, medical researcher Mark Shrime submitted a joke article entitled “Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?

The subtitle reads: “The surgical and neoplastic role of cacao extract in breakfast cereals.” Shrime submitted it to 37 journals over two weeks and, so far, 17 of them have accepted it. The article consists of gibberish [PDF]. The first paragraph:

In an intention dependent on questions on elsewhere, we betrayed possible jointure in throwing cocoa. Any rapid event rapid shall become green. Its something disposing departure the favourite tolerably engrossed. Truth short folly court why she their balls. Excellence put unaffected reasonable introduced conviction she.

Hopefully Shrime didn’t get an NIH grant for this.

The study cited by the Slimes appeared in Human Reproduction, which is a legitimate publication, unlike the pay-to-publish outfits willing to publish Dr. Shrime’s joke. But the lesson that you can’t believe everything you read or you will go insane still stands.

Supposedly the mechanism of “sugary drinks” causing cancer through early menarche is obesity. That means anything that can cause obesity if consumed excessively can cause cancer — which in turn means that the jihad against what you eat is just getting started.

What will they come for next?

On tips from Lauren. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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