British £5 Note Is a Microaggression

British £5 Note Is a Microaggression

The new British £5 note is a microaggression against Vegans, Hindus, and more. From a Guardian piece that appears to be completely on the level:

To anyone who has taken an unflinching look at the slaughterhouse industry, the Bank of England’s belated admission that the new £5 notes contain beef tallow will seem strangely symbolic. Few industries are as secretive as the one that murders 22m animals each day in the UK alone, and the driving force for that shiftiness is a lust for profit. So the way the Bank of England tried to sneak out money containing animal products seems a fitting metaphor for the entire filthy racket.

The unnecessary presence of tallow in banknotes is problematic for many vegetarians and members of several faith groups, including Hindus, for whom the cow is a sacred mother. But for vegans it is a further slap in the face.

Veganism, as defined by the Vegan Society, is a bid “to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose”. It is about more than what we put on our plates: it is a meticulous, daily endeavour for compassion towards animals in all aspects of our lives. That’s why it is crushing to know that the Bank of England has misled us into carrying around animal fat in our (leather-free) wallets and purses.

Not everyone acknowledges the seriousness of this outrage against veganism.

The question is whether as a society we grasp the tallow controversy as an opportunity to keep [veganism’s] momentum going, or whether we let it encourage the misconception that vegans are a bit weird and self-righteous.

In response to news about the fiver, Twitter has been doing a great trade in baffled tweets, with vegans dismissed as “morons”, “whiners’ and “fannies”. Some have, hilariously, pointed out that one is not actually supposed to eat bank notes, while other jokers have offered to take the notes off the hands of anyone upset by this bombshell.

Laugh, you heartless carnivores! Oppressed farm animals aren’t laughing. Imagine how cattle feel about being purchased with currency that contains beef tallow.

Furthermore, it is a low blow to defeated Nazis to subject them to Winston Churchill’s face on the £5 note. In the interests of sensitivity, Britons must repeal Brexit and start using the Euro.

The microaggressive new polymer £5 note.

On a tip from Lyle. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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