Bush: Amnesty International Not Exactly Like Pravda — Satire By Scott Ott

Despite Amnesty International’s recent statement that the U.S. military detention facility at Guantánamo Bay is a ‘gulag‘, President George Bush today said that Amnesty is “not exactly like” the Soviet-era newspaper Pravda.

Gulags were Soviet forced-labor prison camps where the communist government sent millions of its own citizens as political prisoners to be tortured, starved and ultimately murdered.

William Schulz, executive director of Amnesty International USA, acknowledged on Fox News Sunday that his group’s previous statement branding the Guantánamo Bay facility ‘the gulag of our time’ may be a poor analogy since there is no forced labor, and nutritious meals are served regularly to the suspected terrorists and avowed enemies of the U.S. who are held there.

President Bush welcomed the near apology.

“Pravda was the official organ of the Soviet communist party,” said Mr. Bush, “Masquerading as a legitimate news organization, Pravda made false and outlandish claims against America to advance the cause of global communism and to give aid and comfort to our enemies. Let’s be clear: Amnesty International is not precisely like Pravda. There are some differences between Pravda and Amnesty that would likely come to mind if you sat down and thought about it for a spell.”

In related news, the president announced he would comply with Senator Joseph Biden’s call for the shutdown of ‘Gitmo’ by transferring the 540 detainees to the Democrat Senator’s home state of Delaware.

This satire was used with the permission of Scott Ott from Scrappleface.

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