First, It Starts With The Fishing…

Many people after reading this story will probably think, “Wow, that’s cool!”

“Groups of long-tailed macaques were observed four times over the past eight years scooping up small fish with their hands and eating them along rivers in East Kalimantan and North Sumatra provinces, according to researchers from The Nature Conservancy and the Great Ape Trust.

The species had been known to eat fruit and forage for crabs and insects, but never before fish from rivers.

“It’s exciting that after such a long time you see new behavior,” said Erik Meijaard, one of the authors of a study on fishing macaques that appeared in last month’s International Journal of Primatology. “It’s an indication of how little we know about the species.”

Now, me? After reading this story, my thought was, “First they’re fishing and next thing you know, the Statue of Liberty is buried in the sand, lots of people are saying, ‘Take your stinking paws off me, you d*mned dirty ape,’ and this is our future.”

Planet of the Apes. Heston.

That could never happen, right? Oh yeah? Well, watch this creepy video that features a monkey eating — WITH HIS MIND — and see if you feel the same way,

There is only one prudent solution to the monkey threat, my friend: killing every monkey on the planet before they use their fishing skills and telekenetic powers to murder us all!

PS: Yes, for the humor impaired, this post is a joke and I don’t think we should murder all the monkeys. Most of them? Sure! That means more banannas for us and besides, they probably taste like chicken…

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