Peter Arnett’s “Ignorant, Biased American Morons in the Media” By Marni Malarkey

29 Apr, 2003 by John Hawkins

Print this article Font size -16+

Peter Arnett’s “Ignorant, Biased American Morons in the Media” By Marni Malarkey: Greg Dyke, the general director of the BBC, has announced that Peter Arnett will host a new weekly show for the network called “Ignorant, Biased American Morons in the Media.” The show will feature “impartial, completely objective” analyses of the US media’s coverage of world events.

“We at the Beeb are infinitely more impartial and objective than you thimble-brained, George Bush’s-ass-kissing American journalists and we’ve created this impartial, unbiased, completely objective show, with absolutely no angle, just to prove it.”

Arnett, says Dyke, was the “perfect choice” to host the show, as he has “always revealed himself to be “completely fair and objective” in his reporting and he has always “behaved in a professional manner where his journalistic credentials” were concerned. “The fact that he writes for a fine paper like the Daily Mirror also works in his favour.”

Dyke, who recently attacked American television and radio networks for their “shocking” and “gung-ho” coverage of the Iraq conflict, said that “only on the BBC — or maybe in French media — could you get the kind of fair coverage that shows you how just plain wrong the whole war was and that reminds you, constantly and relentlessly, about Coalition military setbacks, humiliations and dead Iraqi babies. We at the Beeb are proud of the fact that we have no agenda and we want to put a spotlight on the US media’s painfully obvious agenda — justifying the Texas nitwit’s decisions to kill innocent Iraqis and British servicemen and women in order to fill his vice-president’s bank account.” Dyke said he hoped the new show would be one more step towards making sure British media “doesn’t become Americanised.”

Reached for comment, the host of ABC’s “Nightline,” Ted Koppel, said, “doesn’t he mean ‘Americanized’?”

If you liked this satire by Marney Malarkey, you can read more of her work at Broken Newz.