Sharon Offers Talks on Suicide Bombing Quota By Scott Ott

17 Jan, 2005 by John Hawkins

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Facing criticism for his move to http://nytimes.com/2005/01/15/international/middleeast/15mideast.html” TARGET=”_blank”>negotiations to set “appropriate limits” on suicide bombings.

Mr. Sharon even put an opening proposal on the table for a Suicide Attack Protocol which would limit Palestinian terror groups to a monthly quota of one bus explosion in a crowded marketplace and two border checkpoint bombings while negotiations continue to establish a peaceful Palestinian state side-by-side with Israel.

“We want to be good neighbors,” said Mr. Sharon, “so we need to continue to strengthen Mr. Abbas’ hand in dealing with the terror groups who helped to elect him. We understand that going ‘cold turkey’ on terrorism would be tough for these groups so, as a confidence-building measure in our negotiations, we’re proposing reasonable limits on Israeli civilian death and dismemberment.”

Mr. Abbas, who was sworn-in today as president of the Palestinian Authority, said he would “consider Mr. Sharon’s proposal after asking WWYD — What Would Yassir Do?”

This satire was used with the permission of Scott Ott from Scrappleface. You can read more of his work by clicking here.