Wait…you mean…taxes matter?

Why didn’t anybody ever tell us these things?

Oh, right. People did.

There’s tax increase fallout coming already from south of the border. South of the Wisconsin border, that is:

Illinois could be smelling less delicious in the near future…

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…they could smell worse?

…thanks to the state’s new tax regime. Jimmy John’s founder and majority-owner Jimmy John Liautaud is packing his family’s bags for Florida and he’s thinking about moving his company headquarters out-of-state, too.

That’ll cost Illinois “about 100 jobs and the business of another 190 monthly visitors,” who would probably prefer to visit Wisconsin, anyway. So. Win-win.

My favorite part of the story was the way a state official spun the taxes:

Spokeswoman for the Illinois Department of Commerce and Economic Opportunity Marcelyn Love said that the corporate income tax will “help stabilize the budget, making Illinois more attractive to businesses.”

So…businesses like higher taxes because they create a more stable government. Well. If that’s the case, why did Illinois limit the length of the increase? It’s supposed to — and, yes, this makes me laugh, too — it’s supposed to go bye-bye in four years. Wouldn’t a permanent tax increase create an even greater stabilizing effect?

In fact, Illinois should just go ahead and double their tax rates. That way, the budget will be really, really stable. Amazingly stable. Far more stable than…oh, Wisconsin’s, just to randomly pick another state entirely out of thin air.

That’d show us, boy. Those businesses would just flock to a state with a budget that stable.


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