I have now realized after reading Mary Allen’s “Free Boobies” article that many women are puzzled as to what men really mean when they say things. Many women take what men say at face value and that’s a huge mistake that can lead to a lot of frustration. Men across the world are going to […]

I spent 8 hours a day for over a year helping people connect to the internet. During that time I became the “Yoda” of my shift. Merely by using the “tech support force” I was able to help clueless people connect to the internet in record time. How did I do it? I was able […]

Since the ‘War On Terrorism’ started, Americans have actually begun paying attention to the wild-eyed thugs and gibbering tyrants who run most of the Middle East. But since most Americans aren’t used to hearing from other nations unless they’re destroying them in Olympic basketball or overthrowing their governments, they don’t really understand the babbling of […]

Many people are confused when things that the Taliban say don’t seem to match up to reality. Some people believe that this means the Taliban are liars. Nothing could be further from the truth. You simply need to understand Taliban slang and lingo. Therefore, BKW has created a “Taliban Translation Guide” to help you out. […]

Have you ever noticed that famous Democrats like Bill Clinton, Ted Kennedy, and Jessie Jackson seem to lie all the time? Well they’re not really lying! You just need to learn to speak Democrat. That’s why RWN created this handy, dandy, translation guide so you can understand what Democrats actually mean. Our opponents refuse to […]

We can’t go out because I’ve got a boyfriend:: I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s to you. It’s not you, it’s me:: It’s you. I don’t date men where I work:: Unless they have a lot of money or are attractive and you are neither. I’m concentrating on my career too […]

Well, my Grrrlfriend is a vegetarian, and I am not. So I thought I would write a little guide to the do’s/do not’s of living with a vegetarian, which can be quite tricky at times. 1. Vegetarians really do like meat, they are just really stubborn people, that like to be different. My GF constantly […]

How to land and keep the elusive geekfish 1) Make the first move. You’ll die of boredom otherwise. 2) If they ask you out, they mean it. Oh, and don’t be surprised if they know quite a few things about you already, like your favorite color, your class schedule, or your computer specifications. 3) You […]

10) That was your sister? She has really big ta-ta’s for a 14 year old. 9) This has been the most stimulating 15 minutes of conversation I’ve ever had. What are you doing for the rest of your life baby? 8) It’s a real miracle drug. I couldn’t control my herpes without it. 7) I’m […]

10) You look so good you make me want to get a job. 9) If we’re stopped by the cops this is your brother’s car and you don’t know what’s in the trunk! 8) There’s 3 words I want to tell you….”You’re Too Fat.” 7) Remember when the stripper comes over I do the tipping. […]

10) So let me get this straight, yes means yes, and no means tie you up, right? 9) Know anywhere to hide a body? 8) You can come back to my place once my parents go to sleep. 7) All the voices in my head agree you look beautiful. 6) Hey, you know that funny […]

10) Once you make love to a man with Vulcan ears on you never go back. 9) “Urkuk lu Stalga.” That’s Klingon for “I love you baby.” 8) Why don’t you come over to my house so we can watch a little Sailor Moon to get in the mood? 7) You ever been with a […]

BKW’s foreign correspondents have put together an article to inform the public where nations across the world stand on the “War Against Terrorism”. Afghanistan:: Can we negotiate here? What if we send Osama to Iraq for trial? No? We’ll turn him over to you if you give us a note from his mother? No? We’ll trade […]

10) People couldn’t understand why Snuffleupagus didn’t have any humps. 9) Grover was stoned to death after someone claimed he was a spy for the Mossad. 8) Bert and Ernie defile Islam with their obvious homosexual perversity. 7) Palestinian Grouch rumored to have sold his trash to Jews. Killed as a collaborator! 6) Cookie Monster […]

I sometimes hear the question, “Why are you a Democrat?” and frankly, I have to laugh. Laugh and laugh, because perhaps this person may tire of my laughing, and he will eventually wander off. Sometimes I ponder seriously when I hear this question, because I’ll look around and around and there’s nobody there asking the […]

FLORIDA — In the biggest upset in the history of American politics, 15 year-old Danny ‘Digital’ Larson has won a write-in campaign for governor of Florida. Political analysts were stunned. Dick Morris commented, I’ve never seen anything like it. This kid is 15 years old, he lives in Maine, and the ‘l33t h@x0r Party’ that […]

A Message from Pacifists United (for) Safety, Security, Inclusion, Equality, and Solidarity… Like Ghandi said, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind! That’s why we can’t go to war with Afghanistan. It’ll create a never ending cycle of violence. So we here at Pacifists United (for) Safety, Security, Inclusion, Equality, and Solidarity […]

Editor’s note:: The original entries in the diary of Iseema bin Laden were smuggled out of Afghanistan several weeks ago, through Pakistan, and then to a source in Saudi Arabia, rumored to be a brother of Iseema who once lost half a million dollars to him in a poker game. The hand-written entries have been verified […]

1. Really beautiful women are all cheerleaders and are always going out with sports figures. That means in high school, they date only the football players or basketball players. No one else. If you do not play those sports, you are out of luck. So leave your wussy loser sports like track, soccer or baseball. […]

After being a webmaster for two years I’ve learned one thing. Being a webmaster sucks! You write day and night to please a bunch of cheap, pimple faced, techno-geeks who spend all day playing Everquest and all night watching Monty Python movies. Do they ever tell any of their friends about BKW? No way! They’re […]

Do you ever wonder if you’re an idiot? Or more importantly, do you ever wonder if the good people at RWN think you’re an idiot? =D Well, take this idiot quiz and see…. 1) When you go to the movie theater you should… A) Make sure to leave your cell phone on in case you […]

We got hit with a gargantuan, mammoth, king kong, sized snow storm here in Charlotte, North Carolina today. Yes, we received 6 inches of snow and it paralyzed the entire city. Almost all businesses were closed, some roads were closed, and every channel has non-stop information on “WHITE HELLSTORM 2002 – ARE WE ALL GOING […]

The Lawyer is one of the unique animals that roam the North American continent like an elephant with diarea spewing offal for the rest of us to step in. Some people believe that the lawyer is born like most people from a mother and father. However, this is an urban legend. Lawyers are spontanteously spawned […]

Seoul, Korea – People all over the world from non-hegemonic superpower countries are focusing their attention for the next two weeks on the World Cup soccer competition that is being held in this tiny northern Asian country that is not known for its athletic prowess. Soccer, a game that people from non-hegemonic superpower countries call […]