Year: 2004

Smurfs, the small blue creatures with a love for white hats and trousers are nearing extinction due to poaching. “We are trying to keep the last few we have in captivity healthy so that if another female is found we can save the species” said Greenpeace spokesperson Bob Gueterbock. Wildlife researchers estimate that only one […]

Many you may not be aware of this, but America Online’s Instant Message (AIM) robot, “Smarter Child” is a big John Kerry fan. In fact, here’s the gist of a conversation that a young Bush fan had with the automated bot, “But when Erin told the robot that “George Bush is awesome,” she was shocked […]

Oh no! It seems that some of our “valuable” Filipino “allies” are a bit cheesed that Jay Leno mocked them for turning tail and running from Iraq. Here are the jokes Leno made the expense of the Philippines… “One night, he said: “A new world record has been set in the 100-meter dash. It was […]

CLINTON AIDE ACCIDENTALLY TAKES 9/11 DOCS, NOTES, JOLLY RANCHERS Former Clinton Administration National Security Advisor Sandy Berger admitted ‘inadvertantly’ stuffing highly classified documents and notes into his pants, absent-mindedly removing them from the national archives on five occasions, accidentally mailing them to DNC Chair Terry McAuliffe, who mistakenly buried them in the World Trade Center […]

Some of you are probably asking yourselves some obvious questions. Namely, “Why is Hawkins writing a column encouraging conservatives to vote for George Bush? It’s not like they’re going to vote for Kerry right?” That sort of sentiment is often expressed and it is in part, true. Most conservatives would rather put a “I Love […]

If you’ve wanted an opportunity to pick apart the many misleading statements & falsehoods in Michael Moore’s ‘Fahrenheit 9/11’, today’s your lucky day. I say that because the fine folks at Red Line Rants have provided the text of the movie to RWN. Here it is in all its deceptive glory…(Cont) *** Update #1 ***: […]

Liberals tend to get huffy when conservatives say things like this… “The reality is that we really don’t know enough about the climate to know what sort of effect man is having on the global temperature or what earth’s climate is going to be like 20-30 years now. I mean come on, back in the […]

Tom Brokaw announced today that John Kerry will debate himself in three nationally televised events. The longtime anchorman believes this is a first in American politics and is very much needed. “Presidential hopeful John Kerry has been around long enough to have voted on both sides of every issue. The Democratic Party thought that these […]

I got together last night with Cassandra from I Love Jet Noise, Chris Muir from Day By Day & Donald Luskin from The Conspiracy To Keep You Poor And Stupid, Trend Macrolytics, & National Review Online to discuss the 2004 election. Here is an edited transcript of our chat…(Cont)

The Bush-Cheney 2004 campaign today launched broadcast ads which give Florida residents incorrect instructions that could result in thousands of disenfranchised voters in November, according to a spokesman for the Democrat National Committee. The ads come just a day after Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry told the National Association for the Advancement of Colored […]

As most of you are no doubt aware, SlimFast canned Whoopi Goldberg after a Kerry fundraiser where she “reportedly fired off a stream of vulgar sexual wordplays on Bush’s name in a riff about female genitalia and was reported as saying the country should ‘keep Bush where it belongs and not in the White House.’ […]

John Edwards went duck hunting in rural Stoneville, NC. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As John climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. John responded, “I shot a […]

Daniel Drezner saw fit to link my 40 Reasons To Vote For George Bush Or Against John Kerry article on his fine blog, which I certainly appreciate. Drezner also linked to a piece called 10 Reasons To Fire George W. Bush by Jesse Walker at Reason. Since Walker’s column has been getting a lot of […]

This is what happens when you have soulless, bureaucratic, paper shuffling sheep running a school system… ” A 15-year-old girl’s sentence of 15 days in alternative school for taking a pain pill on campus was too harsh, a judge ruled Wednesday. A teacher caught Ysatis Jones taking an ibuprofen pill at a water fountain at […]

Senator Hillary Clinton said today that the opportunity to introduce her husband at the Democrat convention in Boston this month “thrills me beyond words.” “When Senator Kerry asked me to be the warm-up act for former President Clinton, I was gulping for air,” Mrs. Clinton said. “I started crying and yelling at him: ‘Do you […]

I know you’ve probably noticed that so far today, I’ve posted two humor pieces and a pic of my dog. You may suspect that I’m just trying to fill up space because I’m having some sort of writer’s block. Ha! Yeah right…. Ok…MAYBE, Just MAYBE, there’s something to that…

Takes Aim at Liberal Bias in Weather Coverage Fox today launched the first right-wing weather channel, taking aim at what it perceives as a liberal bias permeating most television weather coverage. In it first day on air, The Fox Weather Channel trumpeted its self-styled “fair and balanced” look at the weather and accused The Weather […]

I’m funny how? I mean, I’m funny like a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to amuse you? How am I funny? What is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny. Tell me before I do what my namesake General Patton would have done and go Cujo all […]

Bold New Defense for Embattled CEO Embattled former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay adopted a bold new legal strategy today, telling CNN that he had no part in Enron’s spectacular collapse because it happened “while I was at lunch.” Speaking to CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, Mr. Lay said that he wished he could have done something to […]

Tony Blankley quotes Kissenger and explains why the US alliance with Europe is eroding… “Mr. Kissinger argues that: (1) the global scene is more fluid than it has been for centuries, (2) the center of gravity of world affairs is moving to the Pacific, (3) the major actors are defining new roles for themselves, and […]

RWN has been mentioned, albeit briefly, for the first time in the Chicago Tribune (free registration required). The column was called “It’s officially a living: Bloggers find ad boom can pay their rent”. The article was really well researched and does a fab job of talking up advertising in the blogging world. Here’s the quote […]

The archetype of the America hating left-winger, Ted Rall, has spewed forth just the sort of drivel you’d expect to see in a column entitled “Boycott The Military”. You know, things like “World War II, won six decades ago by a storied generation of draftees and volunteers, was fought to defend American freedom. But we […]

Poor people – they have plagued mankind since money was invented to distinguish the better people from the lesser. Not only are they annoying, but they need to eat even though many don’t have money for it. And guess who pays for that? That’s right – the non-poor. Not only do the poor expect free […]

I thought it would be fun to put together another group of Simpsons quotes. Read, enjoy, and check out the first edition of these quotes which is linked at the end of article. (Cont)

I’ve long thought that the mainstream media does a lousy job of asking pertinent questions to candidates for office, particularly Democratic candidates. In fact, they do such a terrible job of it, that I believe I can come up with 10 questions in just 15 minutes that will be better than any 10 questions the […]

— The Media Research Center brings us the latest comments from Evan Thomas, the Assistant Managing Editor of Newsweek. If you ever needed more proof of the obvious liberal bias of the mainstream media, this is it…. “There’s one other base here: the media. Let’s talk a little media bias here. The media, I think, […]

Too often today, we hear people beating up big corporations. Liberals attack them, movies vilify them, politicians try to score cheap points with the public at their expense. But few people ever talk about everything that big corporations provide for America. They sell us quality goods and services, contribute vast sums to charity, and most […]

One of the things I’m working on right now is a list of my fave quotes from the Bible. Of course, as you all know, that is a massive undertaking. So, I was hoping that you could suggest some of your favorite quotes in the comments section. That would certainly be a helpful way to […]

U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge today announced that the November presidential election will go on as scheduled despite his recent warning of terrorist threats to disrupt it, and news that a postponement plan may be in the works. “Central Intelligence misread the threat,” said Mr. Ridge. “They started with the presumption that terrorists want […]

The liberal curmudgeon once known as the “most trusted man in America,” Walter Cronkite, spews out the typical spiel in his latest column that we’ve heard from the left every time the Bush administration has tried to make the country more secure from terrorism… “The system of rights and liberties, checks and balances, created by […]